ODDS OF LOVE

Episode Eight

Spencer put his phone away in the pocket of his beige dress pants and finished off the last of his herbal tea. He loved this tea but DuBuis could not stand it. He was a coffee man. He liked at least three cups in the morning; black coffee with just a hint of milk and sugar. Spencer liked to make coffee for his husband in the morning but with DuBuis working so much overtime at the emergency room of Saint Paul's Hospital Center he had lost that opportunity. He missed making him coffee and a sturdy breakfast. Spencer preferred to eat light throughout the day but DuBuis liked to eat. Not that he was fat. He was a big man but not overweight in any way. His body had not changed much since their college days. DuBuis maintained his form with the daily walks  they took around their quiet and peaceful middle class neighborhood as well as the pick up basketball games he played at the local rec center on Saturday afternoons with what he called his " boys ". Spencer loved his husband's height and bulk. He was six foot tall to Spencer's own five foot three ; two hundred pounds to his own one hundred twenty pounds. It made him feel so safe whenever they were out together in public. He felt so protective when DuBuis was by his side with his hand on his back or his arm over Spencer's trim shoulders. DuBuis was the only one who could touch him. Anyone else would literally send him into a panic attack if they laid hands on him. He treasured the man's touch so much. He needed it. He craved it. It was like a drug really. He even enjoyed cuddling with him in the double bed that they only slept in. DuBuis would wrap his strong dark brown arms around him protectively as they were laying under the thick colorful blanket Nessa had made ages ago. They would lay there at night, cuddling, discussing their day, watching the TV until they drifted off to sleep. Spencer was still not comfortable with sex but DuBuis seemed to accept that. He could not understand why though. DuBuis had always had a healthy sexual appetite but with him he was ok with only hugs , cuddles and kisses. It just made Spencer more sure that he didn't turn his own husband on.

Not that he blamed the man, he mused pensively while he washed off his cup and set it down on the counter to dry. Why would anyone want him for sex ? He was short. He was probably too skinny. He was plain. Even he would not be attracted to himself. It made it even more of a mystery why DuBuis had chosen him to marry out of all the other men who lusted over him at the gay club he used to party at in DuPont Circle in DC. Pity. It had to be pity.

He bent down to pat their enormous orange cat with its huge green eyes Algebra on her purring head as she rapidly butted against his pants leg in appreciation. Of course it had to be pity. He poured some dry cat food into the large cat food bowls for Algebra and her two multicolored kittens Plus and Minus. He wondered sometimes how long before the pity wore off and DuBuis grew bored with him. How long would it be before the man left him behind for someone better , more interesting , more normal , who could do more than kiss or cuddle , who didn't panic at the thought of sex ? How long before DuBuis wanted to be freed from this strange but wonderful marriage of theirs and made him leave the house that was actually DuBuis's ? Send him back to the too quiet and too sterile one bedroom condo in DC that he thought he would die in ? He rented it now to a young government worker at the State Department. He was happy to keep renting it. He never wanted to leave his husband. 

Just thinking about leaving DuBuis almost sent him into a panic attack but then he glanced at the Daffy Duck clock on the kitchen wall and realized he really had to get a move on. He was going to be late for his morning Tuesday  classes. Students paid too much money to have their professors show up late. He was never late. He hated when others were. Although he tolerated when DuBuis was. DuBuis was almost incapable , it seemed ,  of being on time for anything , he thought with much fondness and love. DuBuis laughingly called it something odd ; " Colored People Time " , he called it. Spencer had never heard of such a thing  by such an awful name. It was not in one of his textbooks. He thought DuBuis was just making a joke and considered it his personal responsibility to help him be more organized. 

( " Well , " Genius , " DuBuis laughed heartily as he reached over to ruffle Spencer's  wavy greying golden blond hair , " that can be your new pet project. God help you ! It may take you fifty years or so ! Mama been gave up on me and organization a long time ago. " )

Fifty years. Spencer wished for that and more. He wanted an eternity with DuBuis Lane. The man made him feel so happy. He always had.