Episode Twenty Three

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 Pammy was the type of person that most likely bubbled and chortled perkily even while asleep and woke up in the ultimate cheerful and always positive state of being. She reminded DuBuis of his kindergarten teacher Miss Nicolle. 

" Oooh , ooooh , " she said brightly while waving her hands with their bright pink nail polish. Faith noticed that she had no rings on any of her fingers including the ring finger.  She reminded Faith of a big bunch of lustrous cotton candy. And Faith did love her some cotton candy. She reminded Spencer of a possible nuisance. " Welcome , welcome , welcome ! We are one of the best nursing and rehab homes in the state so I just know you will be very happy with our service and treatment here ! We are so truly honored that you picked us to stay at in your recovery phrase. We are very well aware of your case and your very specialized needs and wants ! I have to tell you I did read of the incident in the newspaper although I try not to partake of too much depressing and negative news. Actually my mother showed it to me. I live with her and my grandmother and my great aunt and well it was truly distressing to them. Being older ladies they felt vulnerable. You know how the older generation takes everything too deeply to their hearts and souls. My grandmother said the world is getting entirely too dangerous. i do have to agree with her but I think it is best not to dwell on the ugly side of life. " Pammy thought that she was talking too much but she couldn't help it. She always talked too much. It didn't help that that woman was standing there. Looking so tall and lean and gorgeous. Cool it , she told herself , this woman was completely out of her league. Why would someone like her want Pam Perkins ? The Black woman was HOT. She was just NOT. Nobody ever wanted her. " Anyway , " she continued on , trying to avoid the woman's intense dark eyes , " the center is here to assist you through the best and the worse of your recovery phrase. Just think of this as one of life's big adventures ! Oh and I'm Pamela Perkins , the executive director of the center. I'm also a registered nurse with training in counseling. My door is always open to patients. And families. "  

Faith licked her lips and said , " And I am Faith Lane. Good to meet you , Pamela Perkins. " 

Pammy flushed red in the face.  " Umm. Good to meet you. " 

DuBuis felt dazed and exhausted just by listening to the woman speak. He also wondered why his sister was looking at the woman the way she was.  

Spencer said stiffly , " Yes. The aftereffects of my accident were a little depressing. As you say. Especially one of the side effects. " His hand slapped the side of his wheelchair. 

Faith lifted an eyebrow at him and DuBuis sighed. Pammy came closer to Spencer , making sure not to touch his chair or him or to hover over him. " And what would that side effect be , Mr. Norland - Lane ? " 

Spencer bared his perfect white teeth in an oddly eerie little smile as he pretended to leer at her neck , saying , " Why it left me craving blood , Miss Pammy. Blood from too overly perky and annoying people who talk too fast and too much. In fact I am quite thirsty right now for some reason. " 

Faith burst out laughing. 

DuBuis could not believe his husband had just said that. Oh hell. Of course he had said that. This was Spencer when truly mad and pissed off. A pissed off Spencer had absolutely no filter on his mouth. Actually even when calm he had no filter on his mouth. 

" I'm sorry , " DuBuis said , " please forgive my husband Spencer. I'm Dr. DuBuis Lane. It's good to meet you. Spencer is just ..... a little overtired from his busy morning and his trip from the hospital. Traveling always makes him cranky. " 

Spencer wriggled his nose endearingly. " I am not over tired from anything. I happened to sleep perfectly last night. In spite of being awakened twice , no actually four times  , by nurses for such  things as laxatives and sleeping pills. Two things I do not partake of in any circumstances. DuBuis , you really do need to discuss with the hospital Nurse Bertha or Beulah or whatever's odd obsession with laxatives and bodily functions. "

DuBuis whispered in his ear , " Behave right now or I swear to God I will cut the brake line on Slow Ass. "

Spencer snorted , " Perhaps it will move faster then. "

" Were you expecting a race car , Dale Earnhart ? , " DuBuis asked with a mixture of frustration and humor evident in his deep voice. 

Faith laughed again and the sound flowed over Pammy like warm moist water. Pammy said hoarsely , " I am certain you will enjoy your new chair much better when it arrives , Spencer. May I call you Spencer ? " 

" No , " Spencer shot out tersely. " You may call me Dr. Norland - Lane. "

" Spencer ! , " DuBuis said firmly. " Some one get me scissors. And duct tape for his mouth. "

Pammy continued on , " It will arrive here bright and early tomorrow morning. It is a deluxe model , Spencer. It even has a nifty handy neat cup holder for your beverages. And a highly customized joystick. Oh you will be quite the envy here ! Now let me tell you about all the goings ons we do here.  We believe here in offering three delicious healthy meals and two wonderful snacks in our spacious kitchen by our Paris trained chef. We offer physical and occupational therapy ,  and also therapy from our full time counselor who is also an ordained minister. Reverend Lynn also does church services on Sundays in the chapel. She's a very sweet insightful lady. I just love her ! All our clients love her ! Visitation , DuBuis .... and Faith , run from eight AM to eight PM but no sleep overs in your PJs , I'm afraid ! "

Spencer narrowed his eyes at her. " Do they drug test the staff here ? You do know speed can kill ? " 

DuBuis said , " That's it ! Where's the brake on this thing ! " 

Spencer quickly rolled away from his husband and headed towards the elevator, saying ." Well do come on , Nurse Chirpy Perky Pants , show me to my cell ! " 

In the progess he nearly mowed down a trio of grey haired ladies who all wore MAGA shirts and hats with plaid golfing pants. DuBuis and Faith looked at each other warily. Spencer widened his eyes at the old women and proceeded to lecture them on how that man had ruined the country. One old lady whacked him on the head with an enormous black patent leather purse. Spencer got revenge by running over her sensible shoed foot. He smiled as she yelped. 

DuBuis shook his head. " Good luck , Pammy. " 

Pammy smiled fondly at Spencer and the old ladies who were still arguing. The old women threatened to let the air out his tires. Spencer told them to " Get bent " in French. " Oh it will be fine ! As you can see we get all kinds here. But we are all just one happy family ! "

DuBuis wanted to laugh as his eyes drank in his husband. He was going to miss him so badly. 

Pammy was surprised when Faith slipped her a small piece of paper. Pammy looked at it and her eyes widened. It said , " Faith Lane. 301 - 555 - 2365. Let's have coffee. " 

She looked at Faith. Faith winked sexily at her.  

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