ODDS OF LOVE

Episode Eleven

His eyes felt so very tired. 

His eyes were so tired that he could just barely open them up. He almost could not move them. Scratch that thought. He could not open his eyes. 

His body hurt so much. Yet in a way it did not. 

He was alone. He was alone. He was alone. He hated being alone. It seemed like he had spent his whole life alone. Until he met DuBuis Lane. 

DuBuis. Where was DuBuis ? 

Spencer forced his eyes to open to find that he was standing in an empty space with blindingly white walls and no windows. He was as naked as the very day he was born to Doris and Andrew Norland forty years ago. He was hurt. He was alone. He was without his husband. The man he loved. The man he had always loved from the very first moment he had seen him. The man he worshipped.

DuBuis........

He was scared. He did not want to be scared. He did not like being scared. He had never truly understood the concept and theory of fear even though it had been his sole companion growing up. Fear was the only thing his computer like brain could not decipher. He did not understand fear but it seemed to understand him which tormented him. 

He had to escape this place. Whatever it was. He had to find his husband again. Now. But for the first time his body refused to obey his mind. He tried to take a step forward. Just one tiny step forward. He could not. Almost as though against his own will and to his horror he fell forward onto his bare knees. 

Get up ! , he screamed . 

Get up ! 

Get the hell up !

DuBuis ! DuBuis , please , please , help ...........

                                                    -----------------------------------

Orlando , Florida

Nessa Johnson was all set and ready to leave her condo when her cordless phone rang from its perch on the living room table beside the gold framed pictures of her late husbands Marvin and Sam , her children and her grandchildren. Above the table on the wall hung a silver framed picture of her son DuBuis on his wedding day laughing happily as he gazed at his then new husband and best friend Spencer who looked like a deer caught in the headlights but a very contented one. Faith had taken that picture right before her brother had taken his new husband's hand and started to walk down the aisle. It was Nessa's favorite picture of the men she called her boys. 

The children and Spencer had chipped in to buy her one of those newfangled cell phones but she refused to use it. She told them it would save them money to just get her some pretty earbobs she could wear out to church or her volunteer work because she had no intention of ever using that thing with the apple on it. She didn't hate technology like some older people did. She had a tablet that she played games like Candy Crush and read books on. Sometimes she even texted and emailed on it. She even had a Facebook page she rarely used. But she had no use for a cell phone so it lived in the kitchen spare item drawer where she kept all the coupons and junk mail and screwdrivers and whatnot.  Anyone who needed to reach her knew to call on the landline unless it was after ten when all good God fearing people should be in bed asleep. If she was not at home they could just leave a message and be done with it until she returned it. Simple as that. She was not about to be chained to some piece of technology that required her attention every moment and every second. When she had free time she returned calls. Although she seemed to have little free time these days. She thought that being retired meant rest and relaxation but dang if she wasn't busier than ever before between volunteering at a local hospital , hosting book club meetings at her condo , taking senior bus trips to Atlantic City and teaching her Sunday school class. Most days she was just worn out by the time she got the chance to rest on the sofa watching Jeopardy and the Wheel while soaking her bunions in warm water. 

" Hurry up and speak , " she commanded into the phone while shifting her enormous black patent leather pocketbook onto her shoulder. Her younger self had been a bit more patient with people ( to a point ) but the older she got the more she realized that patience just took her away from what was important. Patience meant time and at sixty five time wasn't something you could afford to waste. Not to mention that patience was lost on too many people. Like Sylvia who kept trying to force everyone into perfect little boxes. Like Faith who chose to be a policewoman over teaching. Like her boys who sometimes couldn't see what was right before their eyes. Especially her Spencer.  " I'm late for bible study and it is my turn to read the devotion. Mother Raymond gets so nasty when people are late. If this is Sylvia I am not going to assisted living or a nursing home. " 

" Mama , " DuBuis choked out in a soft timid little voice that didn't sound like him at all. Not how her boy usually sounded. Her boy was always strong and sure of himself. It was Spencer that was still so scared of his very shadow. The world saw Spencer as cold and what Sylvia said was " aloof " but she just saw a little boy in a man's body when she looked at him. A man-child. A lost man-child. 

" Buis ? What's wrong , son ? You don't sound right. Everything ok up North with you all ? Not feeling poorly are you ? You and Spencer get the card and gift card to Red Lobster I mailed ? You know what the mail is like. " 

" Mama. It's Spencer. He's been.... hurt. He's been ..... shot. Faith said it was a robbery at Miss Mabel's store.  I told him and told him to stay away from that store. Why doesn't he ever listen ! To anyone ! He's in surgery. He was shot in the back and the head. It's taking too long. Mama , it's taking too long. Something is wrong. He might..... Mama , he might ..... "

Dear sweet baby Jesus in heaven. DuBuis then began to cry. His crying and the fact that Spencer was hurt in such a horrible way tore at her heart. She let herself fall back onto Sam's old worn armchair he had loved so much. Her legs didn't seem capable of holding her up right now. DuBuis never cried. He was like his daddy in that. Dear God. Spencer. She felt a mighty fury rise up in her. Who dared hurt that boy ? That boy had never hurt anyone in his life. 

" Let's pray , son , " she whispered as a wetness touched her own eyes. Her lined hand with its well trimmed fingernails and liver spots reached up to touch the gold cross that hung around her sturdy neck. Her eyes drifted shut to trap in the tears.  " Let us pray. We gotta pray hard. Don't you lose faith. Faith is all we really got in life. "

" Mama. I can't lose him. I can't. I think I've loved him since that first day we met in college. I wasted so much time because ..... well I didn't think Spencer was ready for any relationship. He's so..... so..... Spencer.  I wasted time because I didn't want to scare him , make him run from me. I wasted so much time. I can't live without him. What if he.... What if I lose him ? What do I do ? " 

You go on in the very best way you know how to , she wanted to say as she remembered Marvin. But she didn't say that to her son. What she said was , " Let us pray , son. The Lord will provide and watch out for us all. We need to pray for your husband. " She reached out for her tablet where all her phone numbers and emails lived. She needed to get a prayer chain started. Her boys needed all the prayer they could get right now. 

Her son fell into silence on the other end of the phone except for his harsh sounding breathing and she began to pray with all her will. She prayed like her own life depended on it. And her eyes never left the picture of her boys hanging up on the wall.