ODDS OF LOVE

Episode Thirty One

" Yeah , Numbers , one moment is all it takes ever , ain't it now ? One fucking moment. One damn stupid moment designed to destroy a whole life. A whole future. Some rich drunken fool in a Mercedes Benz can wipe it away in one swipe. Like it was all nothing. A career. A dream. A life. A love. "

Hank laughed harshly. He looked away from the picture but not quite fast enough. Spencer saw the tears in his eyes. His bitter eyes.

" Where is he now ? Angel ? " Spencer didn't really want to know but part of him did. He loved puzzles. Yet he sensed this puzzle had an unhappy ending. He looked at the picture closer. The young man had very kind blue eyes and a gentle haunting smile. He seemed familiar somehow. He had seen that face somewhere recently....... An slightly older version but not as happy. 

" Dead. " 

Spencer was now blinking back his own tears as the one word slammed into him. He whispered softly , " The accident ? He died in the accident ? "

" Nah. The only one lucky enough to die that day in the accident was the drunken turd that caused it all. Angel was there though. Buckled securely in the passenger seat of my truck next to me like always. He was always good about wearing his seatbelt. Me ? Never wore mine. Never liked being constricted by anything. He hated that. Only thing we ever fought about. They say I went through the windshield. My truck was totaled. I don't rightly recall any of that except for hearing Angel screaming my name. Over and over again. But I never saw him again after that. So yeah he might well be dead and buried like my Ma for all I know. Rest in peace , Angel. "

" But ? You don't know if he is dead or not ? " Spencer was starting to get confused. He hated being confused. He wasn't used to it. " He never came to see you in the hospital ? People don't vanish. " Your father did , a little voice told him. He ignored it. " That is not realistically possible , Hank. I could not even imagine the odds of that happening. "

Hank laughed in an unfunny and almost mean way. " Why would he visit me ? Huh ? This ain't no corny love story written by some romance minded hack , kid. Angel was a special one for sure. He came from money. Culture. Society. He had that look about him. Kinda like you do. Privilege. He was a ballet dancer. Trained at Juilliard. I knew when I first saw him he was too good for me. I was just a boxer and he was ........ But I still craved him like a damn drug. We were good once. Very good. Of course he cut a path out of my life. I have seen it time and again here in this glorified prison home. I been trapped here ten years  waiting to die. Wanting to die. Most of this place is paid for by the estate of the idiot who put me here. I hit it big. " He laughed without mirth. "   I see all the loving lovers , straight and queer , dropping them off and never coming back again.  We're all trapped here in that one damn moment. Don't expect your  Daddy to come back. I see it in your face. Well , I'm going to pop that bubble of yours , Numbers. You're here in hell like the rest of us. Forever. Anyway , wanna  watch anything ? They get good cable anyway. All the comforts of home. Until the money runs out one day. "  

Spencer felt an eerie coldness creeping over his entire body. " My husband loves me. He will never leave me here. This is just temporary. " 

Hank retorted sharply , " Yeah , that's what they all say. You eat supper tonight in that fancy dining hall stay away from the salad bar. It'll give you the trots something bad.  " 

Spencer closed his eyes and tried to ward off the intense shakes that threatened to overtake him suddenly.