ASCENDANCY (Feyd-Rautha)

CHAPTER FOUR

A woman will return, searching for the girl she once was. Running barefoot through the garden with grass-stained knees.

The decision to take leave from my duties as a sister return to my home-planet, Caladan, was not an easy one. But my mother's desperation gave me a heavy heart I could not ignore. She had written me a letter where she admitted to her loneliness. How, without my father to share her morning tea on the porch, getting out of bed did not feel necessary at all. How Tallulah, our Chartreux cat, wandered the house endlessly, searching for him. It was unlike my mother to write with such honesty. 

Last week, a bird had flown through the window to the kitchen, shattering the glass and scattering feathers across the floor. She had managed to sweep it up and fasten a plastic cover over the opening, but she had not dared ask anyone for help fixing it, too ashamed to show what a wreck she had become. She asked for my help, for my company, and I could not deny her.

There was, as usual, a soft rain engulfing the small town of Osorio. It nestled where the ocean on the east met the rainforest on the west. Despite its modest population of a mere three thousand, most of its residents came from old wealth. It was a beautiful place, with large wooden houses and tall, majestic trees. As I walked down the street where I grew up, I wondered why I had been so hesitant to return. Now I was the outsider – a mysterious creature cloaked in black, like a beetle among butterflies.

Upon entering the house I once called home, my mother grabbed me in a warm, tender embrace. She looked different than when I last saw her. Her hair had begun to grey, and her figure had grown frail, slightly wrinkled. 

I used to be so angry at her, for sending me away. For forcing me to survive on another planet when I was still just a child. I am grateful now for the path she set me on, but childhood traumas tend to cling like sickly syrup.

"You have turned into a beautiful young woman, my dear Abigail" She whispered, still holding me close.

The next day dawned bright and sunny, in contrast to the usual misty mornings of Osorio. After sharing a cup tea on the porch with my mother, I set to work on the broken window. She insisted that I could not be seen outside the house in any of the dark-coloured dresses I had brought, deeming them too foreign and sombre looking. Instead, she handed me fathers old working clothes: a far too large dungaree overall, and a white shirt to wear underneath. The scent of his cigars still lingered in the fabric.

As I carefully removed the shattered windowpane, my mother came to accompany me, cradling Tallulah like a cherished infant in her arms. The sun highlighted her silver-streaked hair.

"So, what have you been doing after you completed your schooling?" She asked.

"I have travelled a lot, for different reasons." I replied, slightly out of breath from the physical labour. I paused to pet Tallulah's head, feeling her soft fur under my fingertips.

"All with the Bene Gesserit, I assume?"

"Of course. I am committed to the cause. I have gained a position of respect within the Sisterhood." I spoke with a hint of brashness colouring my words.

"How so?" She inquired.

"I get appointed with consequential missions, such as analysing influential individuals, and reporting back to the Reverend Mother Gaius. I work alongside Princess Irulan. Just some weeks ago, I performed the Gom Jabbar test on a quite valuable person." I said. It felt good to finally share some of my achievements with her.

"That is impressive. I knew you would thrive as a Bene Gesserit. Who did you test?" She asked.

"You know I cannot tell you."