Smoke and secrets | 18 +

XXXVII

-Arabella's POV-

"Come bambino, venire." Tori said at the bottom of our garden.

It was wide and over looked the mountains. It was serene up here. We'd had breakfast inside earlier and now our son is walking back and forth between Tori and the bunny in our garden.

"Mamma." The soft angel voice giggled as he walked back towards her. He's got blonde hair and bright blue eyes like mine.

Almost like a mirror looking back at me when I look into his eyes.

"Come bambino." Tori smiled as I stood at one end.

He walked into Tori's arms and she wrapped around him in a hug before placing kisses to his face while he giggled.

"È tutto bambino." She said, holding him in his arms as they both stood up.
(Translation: that's it)

Tori and I moved away from Palmero just for the summer so we could have some time away. So we came out to Emilia-Romagna.

It's serene out here and surrounded by hills and mountains. It's perfect out here and honestly seems like heaven. The sun is bright but not scorching and the in the night the sky is filled with stars and the moon is always so bright.

It's warm today. Tori's in her usual black dress pants and a white tank top, for once. Her hair is held back in a bun ever so perfectly and her face is bare.

I'm in a blue sundress. Like I spend most of my days in, my hair is pinned back slightly by a clip and no make up or jewellery on.

It's almost the perfect summer day.

"He's walking so much more now bambina." Tori said as I walked to her side.

"He is." I kissed his little head and more giggles fell. I interlaced my fingers with Tori's as we walked to the end of the garden to look at the view we still haven't quite gotten used to. 

"You can let go amore, we're okay here." She said with a smile.

"I like holding your hand." I said.

"I know bambina." She kissed my forehead. "But don't be afraid to let go of it hurts too much." She said, a warm smile spreading across her lips.

"If what hurts? Holding your hand doesn't hurt love."

"If it hurts don't be afraid to let go." She said, sudden tears filled her eyes.

My fingers fiddled against hers. I wasn't going to let go. Why would I let go?

Did she want me to let go?

"I love you bambina. I'm sorry I never said it earlier, I love you." She said. Tears running down her cheeks.

Tori doesn't cry.

Why did this feel like the first time she was saying I love you.

I squeezed her hand a little. Everything else started to fade away. Our son, the house, the hills and view.

Tori's the only thing that remained, the room faded and there was a loud beeping. My side hurt really badly, I squeezed Tori's hand and she looked at me with the same teary eyes.

Voices appeared and Tori never let go of hand. It was like the both of us were standing in a darkness and a million other voices appeared but none of them had a face.

"I love you bambina." Tori said once more before placing a kiss on my hand and she let go.

She was gone. It was just me and my hurting side in this darkness.