Pretend To Be Mine | Namjin FF ✓

mine to miss

Seokjin:

“I’m sorry, Namjoon, but I can’t just live with you like this,” I said, wrapping my arms around myself.

We had just landed in Korea, and when I asked him to drop me at my apartment, he said I was going to live with him. I don’t want to stay with him when our future is still uncertain. I understand he wants to protect me, but he didn't say anything more than that.

“Darling, don’t be like this,” he said. I could already tell he was getting irritated, but I didn’t want to go with him.

“I want to go to my restaurant. I don’t want to be locked up in your palace-like home, only to be forgotten,” I said, my frustration spilling over. He stopped insisting, his jaw clenched at my words.

“I thought we made it clear that our arrangement was just for Taekook’s engagement. It’s over now, so we should go our separate ways,” I said, gripping my bags and dragging them inside with me.

He stood behind me, watching me walk away. Why did it hurt so much? Why did I want to run back into his arms?

Without saying another word, he left. Tears pricked my eyes as I watched him walk angrily to his car. Without looking back, he drove away, and I shut the door behind me.

I didn't want to cry; I wanted to feel happy. The last three months were the best of my life. I don't regret asking Namjoon to be my boyfriend three months ago. I don't regret going with him to Greece and living in his mansion two months ago. I don't regret falling in love with him one month ago. I don't regret giving him my virginity three weeks ago.

I don't regret it, and I don't hate him. I miss him so much. Without realizing it, tears trickled down my cheeks. My eyes went to my necklace. “It means Mia Rosa in Spanish, which means 'my rose' in English,” he had told me.

I cried even more. How could he leave me? He calls me his life, so how can he leave his life behind?

I'm so exhausted I can't even talk to anyone. None of my friends know about our fake relationship, and they're all busy with their own problems.

Is this the end? Was our relationship really over just like that?

I stomped over to my room, ripped my clothes off, and went to the bathroom, but the necklace still dangled around my neck. He told me never to take it off, even if he was no longer with me. And I won't ever take it off.

After putting on my pajamas, I came back and lay on my bed. I miss him. I miss his warmth, his arms around me.

I grabbed my phone and scrolled to the contact saved as “stronzo” with a red heart next to it. My fingers hovered over it. I want to call him back to me. I want to sleep in his arms.

༘⋆🌷•💭₊˚ෆ

I

woke up to the persistent ringing of my doorbell. My head hurt from crying last night.

I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, but whoever was at the door wouldn't give up.

I got up without even checking my appearance in the mirror. I was sure my hair was sticking out in every direction as I padded to the front door, my eyelids still droopy.

I opened the door and froze, instantly wide awake. He was standing right in front of me, freshly showered, but his eyes were red as if he hadn't slept all night.

“I miss you, goddammit,” he said, pulling me into his chest.

Tears streamed down my face as I started sobbing in his arms.