"I don't need to tell you pricks anything, I have my own reasons for being here and they don't concern three idiots who won't-" I was cut off as a force came slamming into me.
I look up in anger at the man who was now towering over me, his nostrils...
I spent the next 3 days in my room, no one came, not even Mor or Cassian.
I had silently hoped that Azriel would come expecting an apology, had thought about going to give one, anything, any excuse to talk to him. But my pride and my ego outweighed my heart, as usual.
None of them came to see me, that spark of happiness I felt, sorting my life out, gone. The moment I start to hope for the future it crumbles beneath my feet.
I was done hoping for the future, I was done with any future, there was no hope for me any longer.
I had a plan, and that involved needing one of the winged freaks. It was late at night so I knew the only person that would be in the house right now.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
I banged on his door. I heard a knife clang to the floor from the other side of the door, I'd clearly given him a fright.
Footsteps came closer to the door and he opened it, his scent hit my nose and I almost changed my mind. Almost.
"Ziláa? It's late...are you..?" He stopped before asking if I was okay, at least he had enough sense not to ask questions he already knew the answer to.
"I need you to fly me into town."
Confusion etched his face "Okay, why?"
"I want to go swimming."
"This late?"
"Yes." It was my turn to leave no room for argument, he surely can't deny a girl the peace of a night swim? And my life was about to get a whole lot more peaceful.
~~ The night air was cool on my skin as we flew down into town. I made my way towards the river and he began to follow.
"Can I be alone for this? Please?" I looked up at him, pleading in my eyes.
His hardened expression softened ever so slightly. "I- well, yeah sure." He paused a moment "I guess I'll just go on a walk, come back here when you want to leave sunshine."
The nickname made my heart pang, I gave him a small smile and continued on to the river. My heart was battering in my chest, like it knew too.
I scoured the sides of the river for the biggest rocks I could find that would fit in my pockets. Each rock giving me a sense of comfort, that this would all be over soon, and I'd be reunited with my mother.
As soon as I knew the rocks were enough, I stood on the edge of the big rock I used to dive off of to start my swims, and stepped into the water.
The extra weight of the rocks instantly pulled me lower and I began to sink rapidly, towards the bottom of the Sidra.
My breath held up for a while, and I started in awe at the sparking surface of the water miles above my head.
As soon as the last dredge of my breath left, water came crashing into my lungs, sending a burning sensation through my chest. I coughed but was only letting in more water through doing so.
Drowning was a lot worse than it seemed.
The burning sensation continued until I felt it, her presence around me, my mother and the peace that came with her.
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The slither of life some deep part of me had been clawing at I let go, and as my vision started to blur I saw death itself, wings and all diving down swimming toward me. Until everything faded away.
~~
"Cauldron Ziláa wake up please!" I could hear rocks thudding the ground nearby, and someone pushing on my chest. Right up until I sat up and heaved up a litre of water.
"Ziláa, you're okay! You're okay..." I felt arms around me and a familiar scent. Was this my afterlife?
I open my eyes and look around, I was sat up on the side of the Sidra, the rocks that had been in my pockets now strewn around me and Azriel who looked like he'd seen a ghost also soaking wet across from me.
The moment I looked up at him his face went blank and angry. "What the hell were you thinking?! Trying to take your own life? Ziláa you really are something else you know that?"
I couldn't speak very well considering half of the Sidra was probably still in my system but I managed to croak out "you should've let me"
He grabbed my shoulders, gripping them "Don't you dare say that again!"
"You should've" I coughed up more water "let me"
"You don't mean that."
"I do." More water came up, dribbling out of my mouth. "I don't know why you saved me, when I have nothing in my heart for you, I don't feel anything."
He dropped his hands, a tight expression crossing his features, then instantly picked me up flying us both back up to the house of wind.
He said nothing the whole 5 minutes it took us to get up there, until we were back inside the house.
I walked into the dining room once we arrived, clothes dripping water onto the floor, he shoved past me to go to his room.
"Next time I won't come for you." He spat without looking at me.
Though it was what I thought I wanted, my heart shot that familiar pang of pain at his callousness, and I was left there cold, wet and shivering in the house of wind.
