I can do it with a broken heart (Lando Norris)

32. Illicit Affairs

And you wanna scream don't call me kid, don't call me baby, look at this godforsaken mess that you've made me.

Hannah was almost relieved when Joe called her to say he was outside but couldn't get in because she'd changed the gate code. After telling him to come over she'd been left pacing around the house in a cleaning frenzy awaiting his arrival. The fact he was here made her stomach flip but at least it meant that the waiting was over.

So she hit the button to open the gate and watched as his car pulled in, no sign of Cassie sat in the front seat beside him, much to her relief.

Joe jogged up the steps to greet her and she wondered for a moment if this had been the best idea. She wanted answers from both of them, but couldn't work out why he'd come alone if all he was trying to do was get Cassie her job back.

"I haven't got long. I have to get to rehearsals." She reminded him. She had more time than she was letting on, but she wanted an excuse if she needed to kick him out.

"I know, you're a busy woman, babe." He teased. "Some things never change."

His tone was light but it felt like a punch to the stomach for her. How many times had he said something similar to her and blamed it for being the downfall of their relationship? Yet here he was, joking around about it.

She gestured to the sofas in the living room and watched as he went and sat down, in his usual spot that he'd always sat in when he'd lived there. She sat down on the sofa opposite him, feeling a strange sense of Deja Vu. How many times had she sat on that sofa occupying the now empty spot next to him?

Hannah looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to start talking. Given the fact this had been his suggestion, he suddenly looked very nervous and uncomfortable about the whole thing.

"Thanks for hearing me out." He said, looking down at the floor.

"In return, you can stop sending my parents down here to try and get your girlfriend her job back," Hannah answered dryly.

An awkward look crossed his face for a moment. "She's not uh... we're not together."

Hannah couldn't hold back her eye roll. "Wow, that lasted even less time than I expected. Not so fun once you weren't sneaking around behind my back?"

He shifted uncomfortably to sit up straighter on the sofa so he was facing her. "I made a mistake Hannah, and I feel so bad about what I did to you."

She didn't say anything, just looking at him and waiting for him to keep talking. Her mind was racing but if she started interrupting him he was never going to get whatever it was he wanted to say out, so she chewed on her lip and waited for him to keep going.

"I think I just... you were always so busy. Even before the tour started. You were hardly here, and then when you were here you were always midway through some crazy project or just passing through on your way to somewhere else. I know it's not right but it felt like you never had time for me, like you didn't care, so I guess I pushed back and pushed you away. Cassie was there and..."

"You do know you could've just said this at the time rather than sleeping with her," Hannah commented, unable to stop herself.

He looked down at the floor. "I was angry."

"And I never wanted to spend any time here because you were always angry with me." She reminded him. "If I came back we just ended up fighting and you'd make me feel like shit. I don't know if you did it on purpose or not, but all the snide comments and jokes about me with your friends... they hurt, Joe."