Symphony of Shadows

17. Oxygen

A/N: Guys i actually love this chapter, i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i loved writing it:)

The anticipation in the air was tangible as Vikings from around the market gathered to see what all the fuss was about. Astrid was squeezing her way through the crowd, only barely checking that Hiccup was keeping up behind her. They were almost at the front and she couldn't help but feel a deep sense of satisfaction at the sight she would soon see. She pushed through the final barrier of disgruntled Vikings who had begun to shout obscenities and shove each other to get a closer look. Vikings always loved a good fight and she knew the beginning of one was near.

The scoundrel before her was wide-eyed and clearly panicking, still on the floor and covering his nonexistent genitals. His eyes darted left to right assessing the crowd while also seeking a way out when there was none. Astrid almost felt sorry for him but quickly remembered the fear she felt when his sweaty body was pressed against her and how she pleaded with him to stop. With a sneer, she stepped forward out of the crowd and slowly approached the husk of a man.

At the sight of her familiar face, he sputtered, "You-you bitch! You did this to me!"

She only shook her head at him and said solemnly, "You tried to take something from me, something I'm sure you've taken from other girls who were only looking for directions while you were thinking of violating them. I simply took something in return. I could have dug my axe right in between your eyes, but you don't deserve death, you deserve much worse. You deserve to rot in the consequences of what you do and who you are."

She stepped closer, her fingers twitching towards her axe but she stopped herself from carrying out her threat. His eyes were as wide as a Gronckle's behind, so she kept going.

"And do you know who you are? You're a sad little boy who gets himself off by hurting others. You are the maggot that society wants to stomp until you are nothing but a heap of guts on the cold dirt. I did nothing, I only exposed what you truly are: a coward."

She drew her head back and spat in his face, watching him flinch and shrink away further. Having seen and done enough, she left him to the angry mob and walked away. The only indication that Hiccup was still there was the warmth radiating from him behind her and his footfalls.

They walked in silence until they could no longer hear the shouts and commotion from the crowd and Astrid slowed.

She let out a breath that she didn't know she'd been holding and all of a sudden her knees felt weak. Her chest felt like it was about to cave in. She couldn't get enough air—couldn't breathe.

She could hear herself breathing but it felt like a yak was stomping on her ribs, forcing all the air out.

"Astrid? Are you okay?"

She could hear a muffled voice but it was far away. Dark spots crowded her vision.

Warm hands gripped hers and she was on the ground. When had she fallen? It didn't matter, Astrid was so lost.

She was a monster.

She broke her own code.

Ingrid had always told her that she must defend, not attack. Astrid let her down.

She let them all down.

She was nowhere closer to finding that blasted dragon rider than she was when she first set sail.

How could she go back empty handed?

She was a failure. A disappointment.

What if Berk was attacked while she was away?