Everything is too loud. Everything since I was little has been too loud. It started when I was five. When my quirk first developed.
When I turned five my quirk appeared. Every day since then has been hell. I remember the day like yesterday, except I don't remember yesterday and the memory itself is fuzzy. I remember everything being loud and overwhelming. I woke up early because my ears hurt. My father didn't know what to do and rushed me to the hospital.
Everything after that is fuzzy. I remember holding my ears, tears dripping down my face, blood from a doctor I bit because it hurt so bad, and then silence. The sweet relief of silence. My father said I passed out and they put me in a special room where there was no noise.
After I calmed down my father took me home. He took a few days off work to keep me company, I didn't go to school for the rest of the week. When I did go back I had to where special headphones that helped block out the noises. I've evolved to earbuds now.
It's just me and my dad, my mother passed away during childbirth. I barely know anything about her, my dad says I look just like her. I don't ask about her, the look on my dad's face when he thinks someone says her name is enough for me not to ask. I pity him to be honest. I don't really care that I don't have a mom. It's always been me and him. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I play music in my earbuds. I don't like the silence that stills when I use my earbuds. I used to crave silence, now it scares me. It makes me feel alone. It leaves me with my thoughts like right now. I wouldn't currently be going down a spiral if my dad didn't suddenly leave movie night. But what can I do? Duty calls. Being a hero is clearly more important than movie night with your daughter.
I sighed and threw on some shoes. I can't stay in the crazy hut anymore. I threw on a coat, it barely warmed me up considering I was wearing shorts and a tank top. I had one destination. A place where I could be free. Somewhere where it wasn't overwhelming with loudness or silence. A place where I felt at peace on these cold spring nights. The park.
I sat on a swing, kicking my legs back and forth. The wind pushed through my black fluffy hair. That's the only thing I got from my dad. That, and my sleepy smile. Everything was from my mom. I start school in a few days. That's why me and my dad were having a movie night. I don't really want to go but I'm doing it for my dad.
The wind blew faster as I kicked the swing higher. U.A. the great school for aspiring heros... yay. My dad recommended me to the hero course and as of yesterday, I found out I was going to the prestigious school of U.A. fuck my life. I don't know how I got in, I didn't really try. And if I was it was because I was doing it for my dad. I know he's proud of me, I just hate when he looks at me with those pitiful eyes. I know deep down when he looks at me... he sees my mom.
My swing slowed down, pulling my hood over my head. I've only ever seen her on photos, be everyone is right. I look exactly like her, except for my hair of course. We're both the same and different at the same time. I try to mimic her but I can't. I could never live up to her. Her shoes will never fit.
My swing stops completely. This isn't working. My thought won't stop, this is worse than loudness. This us worse than the scary silence. I miss my dad. I hate it when he leaves. I miss my mom. I hate that I never got to meet her. I-
"Snap out of Izumi!" I slap myself. My cheek grew pink from the slap. It stung, but it felt good. I recollected my thoughts and headed back home. I need to rest. I have lots of training to do before I go to U.A., everything needs to be perfect.
When I got home I immediately went to bed, I was tired. Today was going to be a new day. Hopefully dad will be back and I'll stop spiraling. Seriously I need to stop.
Of course the next day my dad was gone. Again. It can't be helped, he's a busy man. He left a note saying he'd be back soon. I read it once and then again and again. It still smelled like him. Like home. I made myself a quick breakfast and changed my clothes. I threw on my running shoes and headed outside.
I jogged down the streets heading toward my favorite coffee place. My dad loves the coffee just not the prices. I order my usual and sit down at one of the tables near the windows. I love this place because it's quiet. Not silent but quiet. I turn down my earbuds. This place feels like home.
After I finish my coffee I leave the Cafe. I turn my earbuds back up. I hate going outside. It's too loud. I decide against going home and continue my jog. I end up jogging for a mile or two out before going back home. I took yoga classes because it was peaceful. I don't go in person anymore. Someone breathed to loudly and I punched them. It was karma.
I stretched and meditated in the living room. I too out my earbuds. When I was calm, I was in control. It had to stay that way. I don't act like it but I'm very athletic. I end up taking a nap while waiting for my dad on the couch. We need to finish movie night.
YOU ARE READING
Winter: Bakugo X Oc
FanfictionIn which a quiet girl meets a loud boy. While envying each other they start to get closer... and... (Books one of the season series)