Being 16 (17*)(18**) is so much fun 🥱🙄

I miss my best friend

I graduate on Thursday. It's undeniably the most surreal concept in my mind. The people I've seen everyday, my route through the halls, wearing a uniform, sitting outside during pe, painting the garden, all of it will be over. Six years.

I miss my best friend worst of all. I don't miss the girl who made me cry for hours, feel embarrassed by my appearance, insult my family and hobbies. I miss the girl who was sweet and a bit annoying, the one who stayed up late with me and listened to me cry and talk about my crushes and mostly pretend to accept me for who I am.

I miss the little girl who I grew up with who only became so cruel because of her troubled family. I miss her laugh and her stupid jokes and her constant support.

Now, I resent the girl who made me hate coming to school and used every opportunity to mock me. I feel my face scrunch when I see her walk around the school, into my class, with my old friends. I hate that I was right when I told her she needed glasses or that the boy was leading her on. I hate that the girl who meant so much to me is now a stranger who I hate.
, I'm not upset with the outcome of it all, really it was the best and only option.

But now that I graduate in three days with only three remaining friends, a resentment from the majority of my peers, and pure dread, I miss my best friend. and part of me wishes and wonders how this last moment would have turned out differently.
Maybe she would have changed and become better, Maybe she wouldn't oppress her true interests to fit in, Maybe she wouldn't speak like she is always okay, Maybe she would still be my best friend.

I say I miss my best friend but she really doesn't own that title anymore. I'm sure that in a different universe, my once best friend and I, were no longer strangers and that right now, we are graduating together. I can only hope for the best for her.

I miss a stranger