Summary - Mia wonders if she is good for Charlotte. Set while Mia still works at the nursery and is flirting with Charlotte.
"You don't really wanna stay with me
The rest of your life
Getting any kind of close to me
You're wasting your time
But baby if you're there watching me
Give me a sign
God, I wish that I could hate you
But I know that you're worse when you're mine"
- Zee Machine (WORSE)
Why couldn't she just hate her too? Pretty much everyone annoyed Mia. Everyone was just out for themselves. When she started at the nursery every member of staff she met irritated her more than the last one. Until she met Charlotte.
Usually people made Mia feel unsettled and anxious. When she looked into Charlottes big blue eyes, she felt a wave of calm wash over her. She knew the brunette didn't like her, nobody did. But she was always polite to Mia and she was the only person who smiled at her. She knew it was just because Charlotte was a sweet person, it's not as if someone like her would ever like someone like Mia. Nevertheless, Mia started flirting with Charlotte anyway - not because she thought anything would happen. It was because she could tell the brunette was sad. She watched her fiddling with her wedding ring absentmindedly during her lunch breaks, but she didn't say anything because she didn't think it was her place.
If only they were close enough for that.
She wanted to make Charlotte feel good and she knew if she gave her compliments it would boost her self esteem. Mia wasn't stupid, she knew she was an attractive woman and even though Charlotte didn't like her personality, she knew the brunette would still feel special that Mia was being nice only to her. Even if she didn't know why.
Sometimes Mia saw a little spark in Charlottes eyes when the red head said she looked nice or her dress was pretty. Something more than just acknowledgment of the compliment. Mia knew she was dreaming to believe it was desire, that maybe Charlotte was just as intrigued by the new deputy manager.
Even if Charlotte did fancy her (yeah right) it didn't matter anyway. She couldn't possibly have her - she didn't deserve her. Mia knew she was poisonous, even when she didn't mean to be. Charlotte deserved someone who brought the best out in her, someone like Mia would drag her down - the brunette was like a little sponge after all, absorbing everyone else's problems until her own heart was heavy.
It made Mia's chest ache to imagine Charlotte trying to love the red head, only to be met with barrier after barrier. She pictured Charlottes smile fading more and more as she grew tired trying to save a lost cause. She imagined her blue eyes filled with tears as she choked back sobs, pleading with Mia to love her the way she deserved.
She couldn't do that to Charlotte. She wouldn't do it to her. It would be far better for Mia to dream for the rest of her days about what could have been, knowing she left the brunette to live her life in peace.
Mia wondered what it was like to have a heart like Charlottes, one that always made the right decision no matter what. Maybe she was about to find out, because she had to make the right decision here.
She had to let Charlotte go.
A/N - listen to Worse by Zee Machine, song slaps, he literally never misses.
