Once Upon A [Hidden] Time - [Stolen] Series IV

CHAPTER 30

MYRA
27 JUNE 1415

"What are you thinking, my lady?" James asked as he sat next to me.

It had been a week of monotonous routine—lessons in the morning, Council meeting in the afternoon, the court in the evening—and I was starting to miss my past life.

Since the King had left, Edward's responsibilities had been doubled. Every day, between the arguments of impending war, some nobles fuelling the idea, and how some Council members siding with the houses that would be involved in the war, Edward and I rarely found time for each other.

Edward had no experience in war, but he had a tremendous knowledge of warfare. Along with state matters, he was engaged in monitoring their army and things they would need in the war in addition to their chivalrous men—swords, armours, shields, daggers, crossbows, catapults, trebuchets, and lots and lots of horses. He didn't allow me to come with him because he thought I wouldn't be able to handle it. But he didn't know that I had watched hundreds of period shows, and that war machines weren't new to me. Instead, I had attended the Council meetings on his behalf, where my job was to smother the fire that would soon seize all of England.

In those busy hours, James had squeezed out many moments in the day to spend time with me and help me out. In a week, we had grown so close that I felt as if he had been with me since primary school.

Edward had informed me that he'd have time to spare today. When I had woken up this morning, I had announced that I would conduct the lesson outside the castle, by the lakeshore. While Edward complied with my demand, he didn't know the reason for conducting an outdoor session. I wanted a break from the cold, haunted walls. I wanted to breathe in the fresh air, enjoy the morning sun on my face, and let the children have some fun. And perhaps Edward and I would have some time for ourselves—like a proper courtship.

James and I sat by the lakeshore, enjoying the crisp morning breeze. He had followed me when I left the Great Hall.

"Something is troubling my friend," he remarked.

I smiled at him. His eyes were the same as Steve's, and his care for me reminded me of him. Did Steve think about me as much as I did of him? There were so many things I wanted to tell Steve—about my experience, about Jasmine's book, about the curses ending, about the King's favour. He would have understood. He would have calmed the storm inside of me. But in the meantime, James was comforting.

"You remind me of someone," I said.

"Who?"

"A friend I miss."

"A friend from your village?"

I nodded. "He cared for me a lot, and your care and concern remind me of him."

"He is not the one, then?"

I scoffed at his question. "No, James," I replied. "He was my best friend." Why was he so curious to find out about my lover?

"Why do you not write him a letter and invite him here to court?" he suggested. "I am sure the King would not mind."

I chuckled at his words. "I wish it was that easy!"

"Are you sad, my lady?" he asked. I blinked at him with surprise. How did he know? I hadn't voiced my inner thoughts, myself.

Why was I sad?

I missed my parents. I missed Steve and his jokes. I missed my peaceful and stress-free life. I missed my books. I missed my cosy bedroom. I was alone in this time. There was no one except Edward here, but sometimes he seemed so far away—as if he was impossible to reach. I knew he loved me, but I also knew that he would never marry me. He loved me enough not to take the risk of making me his wife. I was stuck in a limbo, where there was no beginning and no end. I had no past, no present, and no future in this time. Unless we both decided to risk our fates and go against it, things were stagnant in our relationship. He wouldn't take a step—I was sure of it. He wouldn't risk my life. What was I supposed to do, then?

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

"Your eyes say a lot," he answered. "You do not smile from your eyes."

I looked up at the sky, not sure how to respond.

"He completes you, yet he is also the reason for this sadness." I snapped my head in his direction. "I may seem like a dolt, but I observe, my lady." He smiled sadly. "You and His Highness are madly in love—I can see that—but you are bound by His Majesty's decision." I sucked in a breath. He did know a lot. "But this love of yours comes with dread. You love him, but you are also afraid of him." His words prickled like thorns in the hem of my skirt. "Love should make you brave—you should not be afraid of him."

"He is the future King." Was that the sole reason I was afraid of Edward? No. His regalia never scared me. It was his power to hurt me someday—not in the sense of physically hurting me, but the words of the old witch—that he'd send me back—still hurt like a splinter. And in my grave and twisted brain, I knew that he would send me back one day. He would hurt me in a way that I wouldn't be able to look back at him. And the constant fear of losing Emma, knowing that I'd lose Edward with her, was eating at my soul. Her health was not good, and warning Edward about her would create distance between us. Right now, he blindly trusted me to look after her.

"He is your lover, my lady, but I see that he is not your friend."

I hadn't imagined I'd discuss something like this—my innermost fears—with a stranger. And in that moment, James wasn't a stranger anymore. It was like God had sent him to replace Steve.

Although his words hurt deep, it was true that Edward wasn't my friend. I couldn't share my inner fear that we would lose Emma one day. I couldn't share the fear of being watched by the King all the time. I couldn't share the pain of him not accepting me as his wife.

"And I see the same sadness in my sister's eyes because she is as helpless as you."

"What should we do, then?"

"Run away from everything," he suggested. "This court life is not for a lady of your stature." The morning wind blew swiftly, kissing my cheeks ever so softly. Overhead, the grey sky was streaked with tendrils of light blue. The fragile, silver light of summer fell around me like a benediction, lifting my spirits. James pulled me into his embrace, covering me in his brown velvet cape. "You speak your mind, and your mind needs to be free—like a bird." How did he know this? "This court life, full of gossip mongers, is trapping this bird." He smiled teasingly. "Idleness does not suit you, my lady."

I chuckled at his words. "I never thought you'd be so observant. What do you suggest in my case with the Prince?"

"I think His Highness needs a little push," he suggested. I knitted my eyebrows in confusion. "Make him jealous. A man does wild things in jealousy." Smirking, he continued, "Right now, his heart is content that your heart only belongs to him." I stared at him, baffled. His words did make sense, but Edward was already quite insecure, fuming inside if I flattered the King or flirted with James. "I would offer myself as a scapegoat, but my loyalties also lie with my sister." Yes, his sister needed him. I didn't want him to be beheaded for no reason. "I believe His Highness was quite agitated over your admiration of the Medici?"

"Ha!" I clapped at his suggestion and hugged him tightly. "Oh, James, you are incredible."

An audible, guttural sound came from somewhere behind us.