(Sabrina)
4/28/15
Dear Lily,
I kept thinking about the whole ordeals with Teddy and Jesse. I just have a lot of questions and I need them to be answered. I haven't talked to Jesse since he broke up with me. I'm going to have to swallow my pride and text him first.
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Hey - Me
Hi, Whats up?- Jesse
Nothing much, the usual. You know the guys I use to date stop talking to me and breaks up with me out of no where. Then ask my best friend out in a note, just a normal Tuesday night. - Me
So... She told you - Jesse
Of course she told me, she's my best friend. Not only did she tell me, she showed me the note. - Me
Oh... - Jesse
Be honest with me. Was the only reason you went out with me was, because you thought you didn't have a chance with Teddy? - Me
I feel like this is a trip - Jesse
I won't get mad. I just want closure and the truth. - Me
I'm digging my own grave, but I'll tell you. Yes and no. - Jesse
What do you mean? - Me
At the time I did like Teddy and I thought I didn't have a shot with her, but I also liked you. -Jesse
Okay? Was that your safety net? - Me
Yes. - Jesse
Agghh! I know it! - Me
You said you were going to get mad. - Jesse
I'm not getting mad. - Me
Ah uh... - Jesse
Why did you break up with me? - Me
Ummm... - Jesse
Tell me. This is going to haunt me if you don't tell me. - Me
I didn't feel the same with you the way I felt with Teddy - Jesse
How so? - Me
She makes me nervous whenever I see her. She's beautiful inside and out. I would do anything to see her or talk to her. I would want to protect her however I can. If she doesn't feel safe and happy I feel disappointed in myself for not being able to help her. I didn't feel the same with you, I thought of you just as a friend. - Jesse
Oh, I see. - Me
Are you okay? - Jesse
Yeah. That's just what I needed to know that. - Me
Im sorry for what I putting you through this. - Jesse
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When Jesse told me the way he felt about Teddy, I couldn't help but break down and cry. I dropped my phone once I finish reading that text. I can't really explain how I felt at that moment. No words in the world can explain how I felt at that moment.
I feel betrayed. Why would he string me along like that? He already knew how he felt about Teddy, for some reason he had a put me into this.
What really hurts me is I really like them. Hell, I still like him! He literally ripped my heart out with his bare hands, throw it on the ground and watch it shatter. Then danced on my broken heart. Before he walked away, he spit on it, as if he was putting a signature on a painting.
When am I going to find a guy perfect for me like Alex's boyfriend. They been doing out for 2 years. They are literally relationship goals. I want that, but every guy I date are jerks or not compatible with me.
Why must being in love be so complicated and messy. I think I was happier when I had crushes on celebrities and fictional characters. Fictional characters can never break your heart (Augustus Waters, Peeta Mellark, Tobias Eaton.). They are the perfect, why can they be real people!?!
★☆★☆
Thank you for reading :D
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