Serpentine Desires

The prey

I was tired, so tired I couldn't even lift a finger. My back was screaming at me for being a superwoman last night, and my buttocks were sore. God damnit! Not even a week, and I already wanted to go back.

Lord knew why I decided to be a saviour when I knew I was a blind owl. Couldn't even see without my glasses, and now, not only was I left with a broken elbow and sprained foot, but broken glasses too. I got them fixed before moving to Russia, and now it'd take another sum of money to repair them. Great. Looks like my clumsy ass come with a price tag - and not the discounted kind. Brilliant.

"You up, Dorogaya?" She walked through the bathroom door wearing nothing but a towel. I quickly averted my eyes, feeling my cheeks warming. Despite the Russian cold, Alina preferred wearing fewer clothes than a sunbathing lizard. "Had breakfast?"

I continued packing my bag in a hurry, realising I had less than twenty minutes left for class. "I don't have enough time for breakfast," I grabbed the assignments before stuffing them into the bag.

Why do I feel like I was missing something?

Ah, well, if I were missing something, it'd just have to join the ranks of the lost socks in the laundry basket.

"Have some coffee before you leave, okay?" I looked over my shoulder as she extended the coffee mug, our eyes meeting.

"Thanks," I muttered grabbing the cup, her fingers brushed against mine and I couldn't help but notice how beautiful and soft her hands were.

"No problem," she winked, sauntering away to blow dry her hair, leaving me standing there like a startled flamingo. "You can help me with assignments later, though," she added over her shoulder.

I took gulps of the coffee and gagged, feeling like I'd just ingested rocket fuel. Well, at least it matched the intensity of my impending panic attack at the thought of helping her with assignments. Great, just what I needed - a double shot of caffeine and anxiety.

Instead, I focused on Alina.

Even without makeup, she was beautiful. Her sharp green eyes looked at me through the mirror as she blow-dried her hair. "...Of course..." Why did she have to look like a goddess while I resembled a sprouted potato? Life wasn't fair sometimes.

"Are you free this Friday; we can hit the club or go to a bar, what are your thoughts?"

Trust me, nothing was more blissful than hitting the club, getting drunk, forgetting all the problems, even if it was for just one night, and being the cool girl. Having a group of friends to chill around, having cute coffee dates, going on shopping sprees, falling in love, having my heart broken, then finding another boy, being the girl everyone desired to be.

But I neither had time nor money to be that girl.

"No, I need to get this assignment ready by this week."

I always watched those girls with a mixture of envy and resignation. Their lives seemed so effortless, like a dance they had mastered while I struggled just to stay on my feet. I wasn't saying I was different from other girls, not in a way that implies superiority or some unique struggle. No, I was like most girls, the ones who didn't struggle to live but lived to struggle.

The luxury of carefree moments and spontaneous fun wasn't part of my reality. Bills needed paying, responsibilities demanded attention, and dreams were often put on hold indefinitely.

"You're so boring, but I like you." I managed a small smile and resumed packing my bag.

Alina hummed a song as she styled her hair. And the void in my chest deepened.