Dellings Secrets of The South

Chapter 30

Sakura

Saying that I barely got any sleep last night would be an understatement. My entire body was sore, just like my - surprisingly not swollen - face felt. My lips were still spilt but it no longer burned when I slipped my tongue over it. My jaw could not be described the same. I flinched every time I forgot and accidently made contact with it.

I sigh, releasing a giant breath then rolled out of bed to get ready for another day of physical torture. I almost grunted in annoyance when I opened the door and met the huge frame of the guard standing right in front of me. The clothes he was wearing look the same as the ones from yesterday except slightly cleaner, darker, I noticed. He must've taken a shower when I was asleep.

Ignoring him, I walked pass him to the showers and the last person I wanted to run into stepped out of his room to get ready for the day too. His hair was messy, glasses not even on and his eyes were puffy, like he had been crying all night and something deep inside of me wished that he was.

I angry.

"Tom." I called out and instinctively he turned around curious until his eyes met mine and he immediately turned back around, walking away. I followed him.

"You're not gonna talk to me now. The least you can do is look in me in the eye after you stabbed me in the back."

But still he didn't stop, if anything his pace got quicker and with all the energy and air I could round up, I screamed. "Tom."

He froze, back going stiff and I didn't even care that some people had stop to look at us. My focus was glued on Tom, watching every movement in his body as he slowly turned to me like a frail puppy, eyes glued to the floor.

His voice was low and bleak but I still heard him loud and clear. "Look I don't want any trouble."

I almost laughed. "You say that now, after you ratted me out." I spit through gritted teeth, feeling the anger and disgust just pouring out of me, just like the words that were playing in my mind over and over again last night. "I could've gotten killed."

"You would've gotten killed at the gate anyway."

I was taken aback with shock. "So what, you wanted to do it sooner?"

He dropped his head down fully, clenching his jaw harder than I was and when he looked up he almost stumbled backwards at the sight of my bruised face. His once innocent eyes were full with tears he was fighting back and losing miserably.

"Did they..." He couldn't finish and I didn't answer. "I didn't mean for you to get in trouble. I just wanted them to scare you with a warning or something, I didn't think they'll bring me to the Dean. I couldn't lie in front of him, I knew that he'd find out so I said everything. But it wasn't my intention, I didn't go there to report you. You've been good to me, Sakura-"

"You wanted them to scare me," I interrupted him, testing the words on my tongue. It still didn't make sense just like in my head. "You thought that the people who mercilessly beat up someone for looking at them the wrong way, would've taken it easy on a girl that was about to commit treason?"

"It wasn't supposed to" I cut him short again.

"Tom." I paused to take a deep breath, keeping my voice low to not scream and feed the crowd that had already started to gather around us. "Are you stupid?"

He didn't answer, he just slouched in embarrassment and that was all I needed to answer my question.

THAT

FUCKING

IDIOT.

He actually believed everything would've been fine. The person who told me himself he didn't like the way this place handled things, thought the friend he reported on for trying to escape would've just gotten a slap on the wrist. And in that very moment all I could feel was disgust, anger and hate. Because he knew better.

A tear splashed against his cheek. He wiped it away with a balled fist, cleared his throat and attempted to make eye contact with me. "It's already done with. There's no point in talking about it. I'll stay out of your way and you can stay out of mine, it'll be like we never even met."

Like we never...

I couldn't even repeat the word in my head. Tears just pooled up in my eye, blurring my line of vision but even so I did not drop the angry glare I shot at him for one second. If anything the hurt just fuelled me even more, because now I knew where I really stood in his life.

"I hate you," I whispered through gritted teeth, hush and low. "I risked my life for you so many times. I fought to defend you when James attacked you. I made an enemy out of him for your good, and this is how you repay me." I shook my head, appalled. "I hope you age like milk in the sun. I hope the people that you look up to so highly not even bat an eye when they kill you for being useless. I hope that they leave your body out to rot in the sun and that not even the birds will fly down to eat your flesh. I hope that your body will be a representation of what you are right now. Nobody. A useless fucking waste of air."

I gave him a final glance up and down then walked right pass him, leaving him still in the stares and judging murmurs of the gathered crowd where I heard someone speak under their breath "Damn girl, you're heartless."

I wish I was, that way I wouldn't be feeling all of this pain right now while I walked to the shower room, wishing everyone here would just disappear. Especially the guard who was click-clacking behind me with his bigass boots.

I just wanted to get away from everything, to mute it all out. All of it.

It hurt.

Tom was the first person that approached me when I got here. The only one who didn't look at me weirdly because no one knew where I came from, he was too focus on sharing the knowledge that he had to even bombard me with questions. He didn't care, he didn't look at me differently. To him I was just a friend. And now I was nothing. Someone not even worth an apology.

I couldn't stop the thoughts as I rushed into the shower room, pass two girls and shove myself in the stall in the back before one of them could get to it. I heard her murmur something I didn't care to listen to. I just strip naked, turned on the faucet, step under the water and let it wash away everything. But it didn't.

My thoughts were racing more than it did the day of the betrayal.

I saw him in a total different light now. If I did get killed, he'd probably just mourn for a few days then move on like nothing ever happened. What would've mattered to him was that he did good for Southside. That's all he cared about. Southside. Not about the people who had his back when he was still being bullied at a grown age.

But that didn't matter right now.

As I stood under the water I remembered where I was and how I made it this far. I was in Southside, I was alive and if I wanted to stay alive I needed to focus on the day ahead, so I poured the soap in my hand, latter it up and washed my body clean.

It wasn't even two minutes later before there was knocking on my door and I had to hurry to make room for the next person.