Adams Poems

?

I have this feeling of loss
I don't know where I am
I don't know who I am
I don't know why I am
I'm stuck in my own mind
I always have a thought on my mind
About how I feel in the moment
Is he okay?
Are we okay?
Should I ask him what's wrong?
Should I talk with him?
Should I just leave him alone?
Should I bring up something happy?
Do I talk to much?
Am I annoying?
Do I think about him enough?
Does he feel loved?
Do I feel loved?
Should I feel guilty?
Should I stop eating?
No because then I'd be a hypocrit
But then I'll get fat?
No I'm perfect how I am
Am I?
Does he still love me?
Dose she mean what she says?
Am I living in a toxic home?
No?
My mom gives me almost all the freedom I could ask for?
That doesn't always mean she just doesn't care right?
...
Right..?
It doesn't matter
I can't escape this anyway
I to scared to die
Even though that might feel better than this life
I WANT to see my future
I WANT to hope I can be with the love of my life
I WANT to hope I can one day be a mom
I WANT to one day be the favorite aunt
I WANT to experience living alone
I WANT to have a ton of pets of my own
I WANT to beleave...
I want to beleave everything does get better.
                                                                            -Adam L Ventura