My Russian Hockey Husband

Olgo

We wake from our freak fest slumber 😫😫😫😍

And try to take each other out with our vibration daggers now that we're all sober.

"Oh my girlie gosh I did a quirky thing and murdered six men????" My wifey says cutely

She must realize that she married her worst enemy 🫃🏻🫃🏻

These Russian men try to grab my wift, me I... Invade their grasps, but it don't work is what she's probably thinking 🤔

I scoop her up and we swoop away in the random bulletproof limousine I find outside. I put on my big boy sunglasses to show them how scary and big I am.

She probably don't know, but because I'm captain of Russian hockey team I get free limos wherever I go... I choose to use skates most of the time because it turns the ladies o. the cok

We scramble like breakfast eggs 🍳 to coma, car

I put on my helmet because things are about to go downtown

I whip out my random whip I use to make eggs whisk right and start wiggling it out the window to intimidate the hockey men (we make eggs like this in 🇷🇺)

The gerth of my pan sends he through the door

Nerv let them know your next move 🆙

I pick up the novel 'It Ends With Us', I realize what I did was probably bad so I jumped out of the car and, get her scooping her up in my massive dog like hands and take her back to the crib car

I start running 🏃 to the mafia boss office for my good friends support 🥰🥶

I see a bunch of cops chasing us so i quickly put on my skater skate extensions to make sure we don't fly way at from my speed 🎀

I get up, against the building that I spot to see Nicolas Cage no.... Nick Wilde so that he can help with my disturbance.

I got my girl in my arm, and I trot

I try not to get bothered by the fact that she's redheaded, but it keeps keep being in my arms. The fact that she is red hair it turned me o

Look, cops must be after us because she killed those hockey guys with her vibrating swagger sword

If she were anyone else, I would be offended, but because of her, her whifeness

I trunk he over my brod shoulder

I can hear her waking up by the flutter of her delicious tongue 👅 I know this about her because I've known her for a day.5

I've been knocking on the door The wood groans the door,knob tells me to approach 🚪

As I triangulate the cell signals to make us unidentifiable I caress the doorknob to open it
(I don't know how doors work cuz I'm just a hockey man 🧍🏼‍♂️)

The door slithers like a snake open and I say quietly "I hope no one knows it's me, Olgo giant hockey man"

The door opens and I see a wavy image of my dearest friend Ozempic 🌹 my bestie from Russian high school 🏫

" find out who murdered me" ozempic purse with her gazillion her horns quiver as she jolts out the words "you got married????" "Naw it cousin" I joke quickly to make sure she reaches correctly to my joke

"Hey where Nicky" at I yell loudly into the open door as I step inside

Who Are you" says the man standing there

I turned to get a little glimpse at the stairs and she owes some pic clearing wildly at the staircase. Where are you? Where I at Nick and doing it They're having s

I turn away quickly to restore their modestly but my wife in my arms turn and stares at them and turns to me and whispers "goals actual goals" to me hotly

They yell who is it from the staircase and keep doing it as they yell

They start making their way down from the staircase by doing it on each step making me in my songbird watch as they slowly descend

My songbird sprouts into music saying it's OK that she's Jewish as long as I'm not, changing the words from London boy to Russian boy 5 million times

They're still proceeding down the steps as we stare

I start singing the Russian national anthem cheering seeing them score girls makes me think of wifey who is right next to me. She fell out of car, but I feel kind of bad about that.

Nick's tale swishes as he takes from the site of us, staring in the site of them doing it on each stare they're not even halfway down.

Vahoona sees " I didn't know Jewish if people were joining us"

I say "as you wish my Lordy" and I start waltzing over to them in my skates, wifey making jazz hands in the air as we go. I leap up the steps and levitating 🕴️ toward their steps, wondering if I should be afraid to go near their hotness

I see that Nick is reading icebreaker, clearly taking notes

HEY THATS MY THING" I s(creamed)
I scurry up their figures and gently dab up and stroke vahoona's volcano 🌋 (her webs) 🕸️