Day of death.How do you start a day like that? Do you get up, shower, dress and go to work like any other day? How do you face the hours? The minutes? The seconds? How do you breathe when your soul is dying, but your body is too cruel to allow the sweet release of death? How does a daughter live as her mother prepares todie?
"Demi? Did you hearme?"
I turned to see Maria standing in the small break room, looking at me with concern. Her long black hair was set in a low bun like she always wore it while on shift, but the wayward hairs that framed her face revealed she had already worked several hours. The breakfast shift at Blossoms Diner could be a real bitch, and no doubt she was anxious to be relieved by me so she could go home and get somerest.
"What?" I hadn't even heard her come in, let alone say anything to me. Ever since the phone call, I felt as if I was wading through a dream cloaked in a thickfog.
"I asked if you were all right. You look a million milesaway."
"Just a long night. I didn't get much sleep."
Maria was my friend-the only person I would really consider a friend-but I'd never told her about my mother. I hadn't told anyone about my mother. It wasn't exactly something I was proud of or wanted to relive by retelling the nightmare I tried desperately to keep locked away in the far corners of my mind. I had murderess blood that ran through my veins, and that was a secret I didn't want to reveal. Not to anyone.
Appearing satisfied with my lie, she said, "Story of my life. I swear, if Luis doesn't start sleeping through the night soon, I may die of sleep deprivation. He's just so darn cute that I can't help but pick him up from his crib. I know they say you are supposed to let them cry it out, but that just seems cruel tome."
I tried my best to give a smile and slight nod as I reached for my apron and tied it around my waist. Normally, I loved hearing stories of her sweet little baby, but the fog I was in nearly smothered me in despair. I was afraid Maria would know something was wrong by looking at me, as she always did. I just hoped today she'd write this one off as me being tired.
When I looked up at her after putting on my apron, I found her staring, appearing more concerned than before. "Hey, are you really okay? Are you sick or something? Do you want me to work your shift for you? I can call the sitter and have her stay longer. It's really not that big of adeal."
Having Maria work my shift would have been wonderful so I could just go crawl in bed and hide from all the emotions flooding me, but I didn't have the luxury. Missing even one shift meant me not being able to pay all my bills that month, and it was tight as itwas.
I shook my head and gave the best reassuring smile I could give. "I'm fine. Once I get some coffee in me, I'll perk rightup."
Maria seemed convinced with my answer, and she reached for the tie of her apron to remove it. "Table five is waiting foryou."
"She's here today?"
"Every Tuesday and Thursday, and now Friday it seems. She's making a habit of eating here. Quite the regular. I already placed her order forher."
I let out a big sigh. Not that I minded our usual customer, in fact, she had become someone I actually cared for, but today I wasn't sure I had the patience or the ability to be kind to anyone. Viv Montgomery was a sweet old Asian lady with a heart of gold, but she did take a lot of my time and attention. "Any chance you can stay a bit longer? I know she'll need myhelp."
"Girl, you can't be expected to stop what you are doing and feed her every time she comesin."
Even though Maria said the words, I knew that if I didn't help Mrs. Montgomery eat her meal, Maria would most definitely step in and fill my shoes. She liked to play the hard ass, but I knew the real her. Maria wouldn't allow a little old lady to fend for herself, and I knewit.
