Tension releasedfrom my bones and the nightmare of the fire seemed to fade away as I luxuriated in the lavender scented water in the antique bath tub I had quickly grown to love. With my eyes closed, I allowed the shoulder deep water to take away the aches and pains.
The wooden floorboards creaked as Pope knelt down behind me. "Let me help you wash yourhair."
I swallowed hard. The tenderness from someone who just hours ago had lost his mother in a horrendous fire spun the emotions inside me to chaos. Such power, such strength, and now showing such compassion. Rather than wallowing in his own misery. The sweet aroma from the steaming water helped me relax as his strong hands began to massage my scalp, gently scrubbing away the smoke and grime.
"Just lean back and let me do this. Let me take care of you," he soothed.
Firm and gentle, the same hands that had just saved my life. The same hands that had just comforted me until I cried myself to sleep were now caressing their way to my very soul. I closed my eyes and moaned as he pressed against my temples, while raking his fingernails along my scalp. A waterfall of warm water cascaded over my head, followed by a rag softly dabbing at my closed eyelids.
"You're beautiful, Demi."
I opened my eyes and turned my head so I could stare into Pope's eyes. "I've never had anyone do this to me... I mean... forme."
His lips brushed my hair, and he whispered in my ear, "You deserve to be taken care of." He continued to wash and rinse my hair, making my muscles melt right along with my heart.
I reached up behind me and wrapped my hand around Pope's neck. "I think there is plenty of room for two, if you want to joinme?"
"This is for you. I want you to relax. I already showered and got some rest while you slept." His voice was as calm as I felt, even as a heavy sadness still rested on my heart. I was so sad. So relieved. So happy. So many conflicting emotions.
I missedher.
I was happy to see her get what she deserved.
I mournedher.
I relished a sense of victory.
It was just Pope and me, and that made me happy.
I was so fucked up. So, so fuckedup.
"Do you think I'm a monster?" he asked softly. "For allowing her todie?"
I shook my head. "You're not a monster. I could never think that. You're a survivor and nothingmore."
"You wouldn't have done it though. Even after all she did to you, you were still trying to saveher."
"Yes. I was still trying to saveher."
"Why?"
"It was Viv lying on that floor. My friend."
"My mother." Pope took a deep breath. "Which is why I allowed her to follow through with her plan. She wasn't planning on telling me or you after we both said no. I think she thought I would still be asleep. But when I walked in onher pouring gasoline all over my shed, she pleaded with me to understand. She wanted to die and become one with the earth she loved so much. She wanted her sickness to end. She was in so much agony."
