Two sleepingpills and two large glasses of wine to wash them down with, and my tiny couch was calling my name. I considered going straight to bed, but since it was still the middle of the day, the couch seemed less depressing. The light blue, rough-textured couch was actually the only piece of furniture which I owned that hadn't once belonged to someone else. Every piece of furniture scattered around my tiny apartment was either acquired from a second hand store, a garage sale, or given to me by someone who had bought something new and now considered their old piece of furniture trash. It wasn't like my couch was anything fancy. It was part of a Labor Day blow-out sale, and it had a small stain on the cushion, hence the extreme discount, but it was all mine, and it was new. And the day I purchased that luxury item was memorable. I had suddenly felt like an adult. As if buying a couch finally gave me the adult card that allowed me access into the special adult club. Growing up with few possessions, I was one who never gave value to things such as fancy furniture. But that little blue couch gave me a sense of comfort every single time I walked into my apartment. It stood out to me against my brown and dull carpet. It shined and sparkled in a white-walled room. It was mine. It was a symbol that I would emerge from whatever hole I felt trapped in. It promised a time when I would someday drag myself out of my self-imposed prison and find the normal I so desperately craved. A blue couch was normal, and I now had a tiny piece ofit.
Normal.
Someday I would be normal.
But today was not thatday...
So, all I had was my normal couch to count on now. I could lie under a thick blanket and drift away as I watched a mindless movie as normal people oftendo.
Stumbling my way over to the living room after putting on sweatpants and a white tank, feeling a bit light-headed, I realized I might had gone a bit overboard on drowning away my sorrows, but at the same time, I really didn't care. I was a fucking disaster. But I also think it was fair to say that anyone would have given me a free pass for beingone.
There was a faint knock on the door and I paused, wondering if I was hearing things. My head was heavy, and I could barely keep my eyes open, so it was likely I could be hallucinating sounds too. There was another knock and then a third. It was too early for Maria to be stopping by and checking on me, so I questioned if I should even open it. Salesperson maybe? When the fourth knock came, I made my way to the door on shaky legs, feeling whoever this person on the other side was, wasn't going to go away until I answered.
Cracking the door open, I struggled to process why the little old lady was at my door. "Viv?" I opened the door the rest of the way. "What are you doinghere?"
"I'm so sorry I dropped in unannounced like this. I wanted to come by and apologize for my son's behavior." She had her tiny hands clasped in front of her as she looked down at her feet. "May I comein?"
I stepped to the side and motioned for her to enter, too stunned to do anything else. "I'm confused. How did you know where I lived?"
She looked around the apartment-no doubt taking in my lack of decor-as she stood by the couch that was still calling my name. "I went back to the diner after my son dropped me off. I couldn't leave having you think ill of him. It killed me knowing you may think so." Her body shook as worry washed over herface.
It seemed odd Maria would have given her my address, especially knowing how upset I was. But maybe she thought Viv could help in cheering me up. "We all have our bad days. I'm sure he was just in a rush," I reassured her. "I hate being late for appointments too." I didn't mean any of what I said and still felt her son was an asshole, but if putting her mind at ease was what she needed, then I would.
