Pt.10 seceret letters

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We walked home and we said our goodbyes

as Adam walked up his porch and I walked up mine

I saw my moms card back in the driveway so I knew at least she would be home

I locked the front door as I walked into my house out of habit

I then went up to my room not bothering to find my mom

I walked into my room and glanced at my desk remembering I had a test soon

I groaned and reluctantly sat down at my desk and started studying

I wasn't horrible at studying but I only liked doing it sometimes

I started scanning over my textbooks pages while taking small notes in my notebook

I tried memorizing what I was writing and reading

Adam pov

I closed my door behind me entering my house

I started silently cheering at the events of today

I had been so happy after scoring that goal I wanted to never stop smiling

Neither of my parents were home so I raced to my room

I closed my door behind me and searched my desk

I found the letter paper I had and so I grabbed a few sheets

I also found a pencil that was sharpened

Sitting comfortably in my desk chair I started writing

I didn't stop until my hands started cramping and my fingers hurt

The pencil fell from my grasp as I gave my hands a break from writing

That was when I realized I had written two double sided full pages of writing

I was writing about today like what happened how I felt how I saw y/n

I decided to be finished so I folded the pages neatly and placed them in a envelope

Then I wrote the date and what the letter was

I stood up and went into my walk-in closet

There were shelves for shoes in my closet but they were very deep shelves

Which made it a perfect place for the letters I wrote

I grabbed the red box opening the lid and stuffing the envelope in the nearly jam packed box

I placed the lid back on and out the box right where it had been before

Then I placed some old shoes in front of the box so no one would look at it

I had that box and two others filled with everything

There were letters, poems, lists about my life

I told my feelings about y/n and I wrote about how she made me feel

I talked about her personality her beauty and anything about her in the letters

Or about how our relationship was or if we had a argument that day

I wrote poems about how I felt about her

And the lists were about things we did or inside jokes we had

They also were lists about things she liked

And I had written little things that she does that I've noticed through the years

Like how even though y/n had money and everyone knew she did

She still never looked like she had money

She didn't buy named brands and often wore clothes that she'd owned for years

Or that she gotten second hand and were old and worn out

And she never wore new converse they always looked at least two years old

even if she had just gotten them a week ago

Or like how if she got cut off in a conversation many times

She would just stop talking until either someone noticed or someone talked to her

Now I always kept these letters and things a secret

I couldn't tell anyone about the letters I wrote and I never planned to

Since I couldn't tell my dad Because he would call me a wussy

He would also probably make me destroy the letters

Because a guy expressing his feelings is 'un-manly' I hated that mindset

I couldn't tell my mom because she can't keep her mouth shut

So she would tell all of her friends and anyone else

I couldn't tell my hawk friends because they would tease me about it

And I most definitely couldn't tell y/n because I don't know if she likes likes me

I had been writing these because it felt like the only way I could talk about my feelings

It helped to be able to express myself without the worry of people finding out or spreading rumours

I had been writing them for around three years and I never stopped

There were at least 60 full paged and double sided papers

that I had written which were in those three boxes

Those boxes held everything

They held all of my thoughts and feelings about mine and y/n's friendship

**Later that night**
I heard the front door open and I heard who I thought was my dad

I popped my head out of my room peeking down our stairs to the front door

Sure enough it was my dad and he had two six packs of beer one in each arm

He kicked the door closed with his foot and went straight to the basement

I laid back down in my bed and looked at my alarm clock

It was almost 8 pm but I felt so tired

I just laid staring at my ceiling and without realizing I slowly fell asleep

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