You are my comfort

Leatherhead VS Usagi and his "tootle boy"

TRIGGER AND CONTENT WARNING!!!!
This chapter contains explicit depictions of self-harm!!! Abusive behaviour towards one's body is highly discouraged, here it is only used as a way to describe how much pain Leo is going through!
"!!!!!!!" will be placed before the self-harm is described in the chapter, so you can skip it. Please be attentive and careful.
I hope that will not come against you enjoying the chapter!

artwork belongs to me. you can check it out on my  tumblr too!

tumblr:https://www.tumblr.com/yris-latteyi

Leo blinked, while staring at the digital clock beside him on the drawer. It was 1:23 AM.

Another one of his sleepless nights and it's right before the big fight. Insomnia really is a bitch, huh?

The room he's sharing with Usagi was illuminated by the moonlight, purples and blues flashing once in a while, when cars passed by. He wanted to close the curtains shut to let the darkness engulf him and at least create an illusion of rest, but they were in the laundry. Leo knew that even if he turned off the Sun, he would not be able to sleep anyway. The reason for that? Intrusive thoughts.

Or thoughts, in general.

They were loud, too loud for his liking, and they were annoying. So annoying that even seeing Usagi smile didn't bother him as much anymore. Maybe it was because his thoughts are a projection of his own self? He often found people upset with his behavior, thus it would make sense for his own thoughts to do the same.

The 'thoughts' picking at his insecurities were closely bound to his impulsivity, specifically him kissing Yui- Usagi. At first, Leo was undeniably mad at everything around himself, Yuichi and especially himself, but now, when it's been almost a week ever since that happened, he felt remorse and shame for his actions, words... feelings.

It was a wonder to Leo how Usagi still smiled at him so sweetly. Perhaps that was another way of fooling the turtle? Either way, it didn't help in deciding how to behave around him.

Clearly, Yuichi was no longer to be trusted. Not as much as Leo did before, at least. But he also couldn't help himself wanting to forgive him. He just looked so...

Leo turned his gaze to his left, where Yuichi's bed stood with the hare sleeping in it peacefully. His face was turned away from Leo, yet the ninja could tell how pretty he must have looked. After these 3 months that he spent waking up beside that face almost every other morning, it was hard to forget it.

As if feeling Leo's stare on himself, Yuichi turned around. Now, facing the slider, his features looked even more beautiful to Leo: his soft fur was glowing in the moonlight, there was a soft highlight on his pink nose and his bangs slightly covered his scarred face.

Yuichi looked ethereal.

And it made Leo feel like if he kept looking, he wouldn't be able to avoid repeating his previous mistake. So, he turned away.

'You wouldn't be feeling like this, if you weren't so naïve.'

Thoughts were creeping back into his mind.

'You let your family down again.'

And the direction they were headed in would not get Leo anywhere good.

'What kind of a leader are you now? You don't deserve to be called that.'

That one hit home. Leo agreed with that one.

He really felt the overwhelming weight of the leader's role and he knew it was not a something he could carry out. Not alone, at least. He had Raph, who would have helped him if he asked! Except, Leo never asked. He felt too guilty to ask Raphael for help, deciding to deal with this on his own.