In the sun, you're happy only for a little while before retreating to bed, as melancholy takes over entirely.
I'm here again.
A princess, encased in her velvety tomb, unmoving and without thought.
Depressed and alone when others are having fun with their love-struck sweethearts.
You don't feel like eating, nor do you feel the urge to roam the internet.
There is no feeling at all.
So, you rot.
It brings you back to how you were before the meds, when you weighed heavier, in body and soul.
When your anxiety brought about numbers to keep you company in your cramped mind, as a replacement for social interactions.
You would count up to 200 repeatedly throughout the unending days, sometimes starting over when you had forgotten what number was just uttered.
It was a different kind of loneliness back then.
A complete loneliness.
Neither Erwin, nor Levi were in your life and you didn't have any friends at the time.
Here, in this bed, the loneliness you feel creates a different sort of pain.
A numb pain.
You don't take your meds today as you continue to decay and break apart, opting, instead to be dead to the world.
Once you open your eyes, you realise that sleep has taken day away from you and given you night.
Ignoring the sounds coming from your stomach, you get out of bed and head into the bathroom to take off your crusty makeup.
Falling back into old habits would mean slipping into the jaws of the past.
Pacing back and forth in your bedroom, you think of what to do.
Minutes go by and not a single idea is good enough.
Your emptiness worsens as you think of the two of them.
Finally, you make your decision and ring him.
"Hello? Who is this?"
You feel a stab of pain as his question shows that he has deleted your contact.
"I-it's Y/N" You whisper, close to the microphone.
"Y/N? Y/N, why are you calling me at this time? It's late."
His tone is so strict, it is enough for you to break down.
"Oh no, what's wrong, Y/N? Speak to me, tell me what's on your mind."
Immediately Erwin banishes the edge to his voice once he hears you crying on the other side of the phone.
"I-I need to see you, Erwin, I-I'm not doing so well." You choke.
You hear a shuffling noise and then the closing of a door.
"I don't think that's going to be possible, Y/N" His voice is louder and much clearer now.
"Maria and I are staying in a hotel."
You are silent as you wipe your cheeks.
"Can't this wait until tomorrow? Maria... She is asleep and I don't want any trouble."
"No. This can't wait." Your voice trembles.
"Erwin, please... I need you right now."
A long moment passes before Erwin speaks.
"I would... well... I-If we were to meet, we would have to meet back at the house." Erwin's voice has returned to a whisper and you strain to hear him.
"Okay." You say softly.
"I'll be there in two hours."
He hangs up right after the last word leaves his lips.
You jump out of bed and put on a different pair of heels, before applying some chapstick and heading downstairs.
You have a different driver this time and the two of you travel in silence as you make your way to Erwin.
Halfway through the journey, you look at the rearview mirror and are reminded that you are barefaced.
You panic a little before realising that Erwin has seen you without makeup countless times and could care less.
You lean back into your seat and watch as the sights go by.
Despite the time of night, you are met with traffic, so close to your destination.
Nervously, you pray for it to go as soon as possible so Erwin is not kept waiting.
Absentmindedly, you rub your wrist; wondering what his temperament will be like upon arrival.
Before long, the commotion is resolved and you arrive at Erwin's residence.
The driver winds down your window and you speak into the intercom.
You don't hear a response for a minute and begin to think that you have arrived earlier than Erwin.
However, the gates open up and the car sails through before parking.
Your driver exits the vehicle and assists you.
The doors open and Erwin stands in front of them in wait, as you carefully make your way towards him.
He takes a look at you and says nothing before letting you inside.
None of the lights are on apart from a soft glow coming from upstairs.
Erwin appears tired and a little irritated.
"Y/N. We need to be quick, talk to me."
He walks up to you and you find your neck bending upwards as he draws close.
"I have no one."
He stops and you look down at his chest.
"Levi... He wasn't here for Valentine's... He's neve-"
"I can't always be here for you Y/N. You are an adult."
You look back up at him and furrow your eyebrows.
"I thought this was going to be about something serious like-"
"Like what? Like my medication? You only here because you thought I was going to end it?" You interrupt dryly.
"Piece of shit." You snarl, pushing him forcefully.
"We are not together anymore Y/N! What is so hard to fucking understand?" Erwin shouts.
"Does that mean you have to actively avoid me like the plague?" You shout back.
Erwin grabs your shoulders and shakes them.
"Yes! Yes, it does!"
He lets go and looks down at you, all patience withered away.
"I just wanted to see you, to talk to you! Why is that so much of an issue?"
"Don't be a fucking idiot, Y/N."
Erwin turns around incredulously before facing you with a twisted smile.
"Hmm, I wonder why meeting my ex in the middle of the night is such a bloody issue."
You grab him by the collar, ramming his face towards yours.
"If I'm such a fucking idiot, why did you come here to see me? Failure of a son." You hiss contemptuously.
"Couldn't have you killing yourself right after talking to me, it would look bad for business."
You slap him hard, your palm stinging as much as your eyes.
Hot tears start to roll down your cheeks as you smile.
"You mean daddy's business."
YOU ARE READING
Possession | Levi Ackerman and Erwin Smith
Hayran Kurgu"Not only did I pay for that pretty dress you're wearing, I paid for what's underneath it too. I feel as though you forget that Y/N." You briskly turn your head to face Levi. "There was no need to do what you did back there, what if people saw?" Lev...
