The Winner

Save Me From Myself

"Heyyy." James whispers when he sees I'm starting to wake up. He lays next to me in his bed and strokes my cheek. Maggie lays on the other side of me, back to loving me again now that I'm calm. My swollen irritated eyes stare at those blue Efron eyes and I touch the side of his face.

I cried myself to exhaustion from the emotional rollercoaster of this day. I said hi to his dog and pet her for awhile but James knew I wouldn't be able to hold it in long. He brought me right up to his room and closed the door so Maggie couldn't come in. I cried so hard in his arms. He held me tight and let me get it all out. I cried so long I eventually closed my eyes and fell asleep, just like I've done with Nate on a few occasions.

"Hey." I whisper back. I look over to James with my swollen eyes. "Thank you."

"For what?" James  rests his forehead on mine and takes hold of my my face.

"You know for what. For driving away. For bringing me here. For letting me cry."

"I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna make sure you get better, ok?"

I nod.

"But I'm gonna need your help." He attaches his lips to mine in soft pecks as he talks.

"You can't shut down on me. I'm not the enemy, ok? I don't want you going in one of those places." He continues to peck my lips.

"I want you to be healthy. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, remember? I want your toothbrush next to mine and you clothes in my dresser. I want the bad karaoke, your favorite song. Sex in the lobby..." He smirks and for the first time today I feel a curve of a smile.

"Sex in the lobby, right." I repeat and roll my eyes at him.  I try to joke with him but everything hits me like a freight train. What this day is now and what it could have been if James didn't drive away.

"I'm so sorry." I  burst into tears and throw my arms around his neck, almost knocking him over. I know I'm not well. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen! I never meant to hurt anyone!"

"I know you didn't, sweetie. I know." He backs away and holds on to my face. "Julia, I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. Trust me. You're gonna get through this."

*****

*Nate*

"I don't see Julia's name in the system yet. She should have shown up by now." Jonah sits at the dining room table with his folders and paperwork splayed out while he refreshes the page on his laptop. Now that I'm calm, Paul has ventured in his room to take a call. I bet it's Trisha trying to get an update. I know Paul has been talking to her more frequently today. Neither of them have said anything to me about what's been going on between the two of them though, and I've been... a little preoccupied.

I lay on my side on the couch with the weighted blanket over my shaking body while watching golf on tv.

"You're not gonna see her name in the system, Jonah." I comment dryly, making sure to keep my eyes on the tv while I talk. He's been refreshing that page for a good half hour trying to see what's going on with Jules. He's gonna drive himself up a wall. It's time to tell Jonah what really went down earlier.

"Why wouldn't I see her name in the system, Nate?" He stands up and shuts his laptop, knowing exactly what I'm saying but needing to actually hear it.

"Because she never got admitted."

"Please tell me you're joking." The nurse starts pacing, blocking my view of the tv. Probably on fucking purpose.

I sit up and and let the blanket fall down to my lap.