The Winner

Nothing Else Matters

*Julia*

Dr. Katherine Cohen, my new therapist, is good, but it's clear she's no Dr. Donovan. There is no denying the fact that Jeremy is an extremely smart, qualified doctor who specializes in not only Bipolar disorders but also eating disorders, depression and grief therapy. Of course, all the things I have rolled up into this one body of mine.

If only he didn't ruin me the way he did, I could still be healing and getting on the right track. He was the only one to seemed to get me, challenge me to get myself healthy, and push me without pushing me over the edge.

 Until he pushed me too far. That night.

And there's nothing that will erase that.

He knows he fucked up. He's a smart man, genius some would say, so the only thing he CAN do is make sure  I don't ruin him the way he ruined me. He holds my life and future in his hands, his hands that hold my medical charts. He's made me well aware he will do whatever it takes to keep my mouth shut.

The only thing I can do now is make sure, no matter what, I hold in any and all emotion while at the Avalon. I bottle it up and save it till after I walk out those doors. Which is the opposite of what I should be doing because it's not healing at all. It's faking it.

Nobody has caught on but Paul. Poor Paul. How he got dragged into this mess he never asked for is beyond me. But he's here. He's here helping me fake it until the very last second.

This is anything but part of Paul's job. Part of me wonders why he doesn't just tell Nate he's done. Or tell him he would rather be with Trisha. The easy job. But he doesn't. Every morning he escorts me in to hell for half a day of hell, until I'm discharged from hell, then watches me fall apart the entire way home.

And it's only been a week.

"How much longer will you be needed for Miss Moretti?" Jeremy eyes Paul during my discharge today.

"Until Mr. Hollan feels it is safe, sir." Paul responds from behind me while Dr. Cohen hands me my nightly worksheet for Jonah to fill out. The same worksheet he continues writing down  a bunch of bullshit lies to get me through so Jeremy doesn't have a reason to admit me full time. As it is, I'm only going there  for two sessions still and that is all thanks to Jonah and Casey, scheduling my PT and doctor appointments in the afternoons. Going for the morning session holds my spot at the Avalon  until we can get Jeremy behind bars. 

Why Jeremy feels the need to show up at my discharge every day is beyond me. He has other patients. But I don't say anything because if he is with me that means he is not near Cara. And that is the only... ONLY thing that matters to me right now. Cara has yet to say anything negative about him which means he has yet to try anything with her.

"It's actually more common than you'd think, Dr. Donovan." Dr. Cohen says. 

Katherine Cohen is a tiny Asian woman who's straight salt and pepper hair is always tied back into a low ponytail.  She may be small in stature but she doesn't put up with anyone's shit.  She practically runs this place and just happens to now be my new therapist since I requested a female doctor, without any details on why. 

"We get a numerous amount of celebrities in this rehab, some who need bodyguards twenty four seven. We will do whatever we need to accommodate the patient within reason so the patient can get the help needed and focus on their own well being. If Mr. Hollan thinks this is the safest way to for Julia to receive her treatment than I'm all for it." Dr. Cohen looks up at Jeremy in a matter of fact assertive way. He nods and says no more. He never did bring up me not going to his office the other day after I threw up my breakfast. I pretended like I never heard him and he let it go.