The Winner

The Other Side

Day 30

It's been 30 days since the crash. 30 days of James being in a coma. Dr. Giovanni doesn't come to check on him daily anymore.  His sisters visit him daily though. All but Kendall who has yet to come up.

Nate stays with me but every once in awhile, when I'm at PT or getting counseling, he'll escape and go home or to the studio. Trisha is starting to book his schedule more now. I feel like everyone is moving ahead with life except for me and James.

 I'm 3 days without a cast, now wearing some weird brace that goes up my leg, and 6 days into my detox. I'm currently in the bathroom throwing up. Dr. Prade thinks I should still be on the anxiety meds but the low dose is no longer working for me and I need more.  She disagrees with me on wanting to get the Ativan out of my system. I think she's just waiting for me to have some kind of meltdown so she has a reason to sedate me again.

"I can ask the nurse for more Zofran, if you think it will help." Nate rubs my back while I cry and throw up into the toilet.

"I'm just gonna throw it up." I  lay back against the bathroom wall and close my eyes. "My whole body hurts, Nate. I don't think I can do this again!!" I cry.

"You can, ok? I'm right here with you. You just have to get to the other side of this and you will feel so much better. What is this - your twelfth attempt at detox?" He laughs a little and puts a cool wet cloth on my forehead.

"Something like that." I take the cloth from him and hold it myself. "She can't give me that stuff again. Dr. Prade. I can't do this again, Nate. It's too hard."

"I know.  We just gotta get you back on the right antidepressants for you so you  can cope better. You're back to virtual counseling so that helps, and your little boyfriend Jeremy is always around to help you." He teases me.

"Stop..."

"C'mon. He SO has a crush on you, Miss. Moretti. You must see it by now." Nate helps me up and gives me my crutches. I still use them because I can't put full pressure on my leg but they are useless with the way I'm shaking so he walks with me to make sure I'm good.

The conversation ends when Jeremy comes into the room. 

"How we doing in here?" He takes my chart and starts reading. "Julia. You ate breakfast with no issues. That's great."

"No. I just threw it up." I sigh as Nate helps me into the bed. "I'm so cold... I really can't do this again!"

"Ahhh.  It's what, day 6 of detox? You're feeling all the things now, aren't ya?" He flips through my chart and makes a few notes.

"I rather feel numb." I pull the covers up to my shoulders and Nate lays down next to me, rubbing my arm over the covers to keep me warm.

"Said by a true addict."

"I hate this shaking." I groan and close my eyes tight. 

Trisha comes into the room all cheery and I want to smack it right outta her.  Paul follows behind her.

"You ready, Nate?" She pays no attention to me.

"Ready for what?" I turn and glare at him.

"Oh, I forgot. I have a practice scheduled  at the studio with the band today... I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you." Nate kisses my cheek and gets off the bed.

"For how long??" I sit up, now feeling sad that I'm in this alone.

"Not sure. After I may go visit my sister. It's been awhile. You're ok with that though, right?" 

"Of course." I lie.

And just like that, Nate leaves with Trisha and Paul. I frown and lay back down in the bed as my tremors take over my body.