Querencia

S2 E6: Growing Up

[M/n] chose to head upstairs, back to the deck. The sky was dark, the crescent moon shining softly as the faded stars twinkled gently. Nya had set the Bounty to fly through the night, so at the moment they were still climbing towards 13,000ft, but it gave him a good view of the cloudless night sky.

The engines rumbled softly in the background, the wind dancing around [M/n] as he approached the dragon figurehead. But he could not enjoy the beauty of the night, not when his mind was running with hundreds of questions. There were so many questions. From what the future held in store for them, to the strange noise that had come from his throat, to his memories. There were so many.

One of the many burning questions in his mind were about the noises he'd made throughout his time as a child, and even before then. He'd always made those strange noises, growls that were far too animalistic to come from a human's throat. They sat in the back of his throat, that strange urge itching at his skull to make odd noises, all depending on his mood.

But even these questions were pushed to the back of his mind. Most pressing was this crushing feeling of failure, weighing down his shoulders until they felt like they were going to pop out of their sockets. It clogged his throat, burning and acrid. His entire purpose, written into the scroll by the First Spinjitzu Master, as the Silver Ninja was to protect and defend the Green Ninja - to be his shield and sword, to be wielded.

And he had failed. Lloyd had nearly been cut in half by the Grundle, being forced to age himself to protect them when he was supposed to be the one protected.

Guilt hung over his shoulders like a death shroud, further weighing him down.

Sat on the figure head, he bowed his head and rubbed at the skin between his brows, trying to rub away the lingering headache from the stress of the days and his sudden transformation from adult to child and back again. The wind picked up, ruffling his hair and blowing it back. Eyes closed he leaned into the breeze, comforted by it.

His sensitive ears picked up light footsteps, unbalanced and unfamiliar in their weight and cadence. But that made it more obvious as to who was approaching him - he had long since memorized everyone else's footsteps.

Lloyd leaned against the railing, eyes burning into the side of [M/n]'s head but the other ignored him for several long minutes as he continued to rub at his forehead. The younger squirmed, weight shifting anxiously as he waited to be acknowledged.

After 10 long, silent, minutes, Lloyd broke the silence himself, "Are you mad at me? For disobeying you?"

"I don't know." [M/n] genuinely had no idea if he was angry or disappointed or just . . . exhausted and tired. Lloyd winced, slumping further against the railing. "Do you understand what your choice has done?"

His voice was flat, monotone.

"Sensei told me that the Battle is likely closer now, if that's what you mean."

"While that is true, that is not what I meant. The time we have to adequately train you has lessened dramatically, your father and other enemies will no longer take it easy on you since you are no longer a child, and those are only two of the consequences." [M/n] closed his eyes. "I have tried so very hard-" His voice cracked, and he forced himself to take in a shuddering, stabilizing breath. "-to give you a childhood, to make sure you wouldn't have to step into your destiny so young and be forced to face your father. What kind of life will you now lead, Lloyd?"

Lloyd's eyes went wide, genuinely shocked. He looked away, unable to continue looking at the other ninja. "I didn't know. I didn't realize . . . I'm sorry, [M/n], but I couldn't let the Grundle kill you or the others. I know you want to protect me–"