Baatein Kuch Ankhahee Si

Chapter 21: The Past

Lamha Lamha Tere Bin Jiya Na Jaye Re
Dekhu Har Jagah Main Bas Tere Hi Saye Re

Main Tuta Huya Saaj Hu Tu Meri Awaaz Tha
Likhi Thi Jahan Zindagi Tu Meri Kitaab Tha
Ab Maaf Kar Karna ham Jee Jayenge
Iss Dard Ko Dheere Dheere Pee Jayenge

Chahe Jitna Tu Chahoge Par Na Aayenge
Tum Se Door Hum Itna Ho Jayenge

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Neha's POV

"You all remember I said after 10th, I don't want to study in Mumbai from 11th onwards?" I asked them all who nodded. I closed my eyes and started narrating the story as I know I wouldn't be able to bear to see the guilt, disappointment, and anger in their eyes.

"That was because people used to judge me and bully for not being able to score as much as all of you. They used to judge me for choosing art stream instead of science and commerce, like all of you. Nobody was even ready to be friends with me. That's why I was tired of it all and told everyone that I wanted to complete 11th and 12th in Jaipur. Cause no one knows us there. So no one would judge me for choosing art stream. So I convinced papa, mumma, chachu, chachi, bade papa and badi maa. And they got convinced after I said I will live with mamu mami." I poured out whatever I had within me for the past 6 years. I know they would all be very hurt that I never shared any of this with them. I opened my eyes to see guilt surging through their eyes, before they could say anything I continued while looking down.

"And I left for Jaipur where I met him for the first time. We connected pretty fast because we were both the same. Both of us were criticised for our marks and had low self esteem so we became each other's comfort zones. But there was one difference between us! He knew how to fight for himself, but I didn't. People used to bully me, but I never fought back. People used to bully him, but he always fought back." I said with a choked voice at the end.

"We got to know each other, we became friends and slowly we fell in love, or at least that is what I had thought." I completed with a sarcastic chuckle at the end, still looking towards my lap while trying to pluck my left hand's thumb nail with my right hand's thumb. A habit I have whenever I am nervous.

There a moment of silence, no one spoke anything until Tara decided to break the silence, "Why and when did you guys break up Neha?" I looked up at her after hearing her question. I know they want to know this but I thought they would question me for not telling them about the bullying and my reason for the transfer. But they didn't. Did they know this reason already? Seeing the confusion on my face, Mira said "We didn't know you were being bullied here but we know you just didn't want to drag us in all this mess."

Aaru di continued ahead "We know you love us and care the most about us, and you knew that if you tell me I might get distracted from my studies during the most crucial time of my life."  Next Kabir bhai continued "And you knew that if you tell me or Rohan, we might have fought them and we might also get injured in that." Rohan bhai continued his point "And you wouldn't have been able to see your brothers injured just because they fought for you."

"And you didn't tell me and Mira because you didn't want us to fight against them and ruin our image of most disciplined girls in school." Tara continued. By now I had tears in my eyes. How can anyone know their sibling this well? The reasons they said were totally and 100% true. I can't imagine what my life would have been without the 5 of them. I came out of my thoughts when Tara asked again "Now tell us Neha, why and when did you guys break up?"

I took a deep breath and to calm my nerves when I felt two hands holding my hands. I looked towards both sides to find Aaru di and Tara sitting and holding my hand providing the comfort I needed while giving me an encouraging smiles. "I completed my 1st year exams while Shrey completed his 2nd year exams. So we decided to go out on a date and celebrate the next day. Because it was also a special occasion, our 3 year anniversary, which became the worst day of my life." I said while lone tear escaped my eye remembering the happiest day of my life turning into the worst.