The Love of Dragons (HOTD)

Grief and Rage

Rage, red hot rage filled my whole being. A vengeful and ear shattering scream left my lungs as I tore apart my bedroom chambers. Tears flowing freely down my face as I continued to cry in agony. Broken wood, glass, paintings all littered the floor of my room. I looked up and stared at the long mirror that stood across from me. I couldn't recognize the girl who stood before me. My skin appeared sunken in and pale. My eyes were bright red and tear stained. A red handprint remained visible along my cheek. My normally tame curly hair was knotted and uncontrollable due to the amount of tugging I had done to it. My dress was ripped and dirty. It was my fault, it was all my fault. I had been so caught up with false feelings that I had betrayed my family. My brother, my Lucaerys. Without hesitation I took two strides before grabbing the mirror and throwing it the ground. The glass shattered into a million pieces flying everywhere. I could feel the warm liquid of blood trickle down from my hand and cheek as I had been cut. I took shaky deep breaths trying to regain the ability to breathe as my panic attack took over. I ran my hands through my hair still not able to comprehend the ginormous loss I had just faced. I could feel the red sticky substance get stuck in my silver hair. I hadn't even noticed my bedroom door creek open until I heard the soft voice of a concerned child.

"Aemma?" He asked with childlike worry. I glanced over to the door and nearly gasped believing to see Lucaerys standing before me. I quickly shook my head recognizing my younger brother Joffrey. The seven year old boy resembled Luke far more than Jace and I. He had long curly hair and brown matching eyes with a small button nose. I frowned noticing the way he flinched looking at the scene before him. But what really tugged at my heart was the way his nose had been rubbed raw from all the sniffling and the way his eyes appeared red brimmed with tears.

"Joffrey." I sighed holding back tears. The seven year old boy ran to me as I bent down. He wrapped his arms around me as I embraced him in my grasps. He sobbed into my shirt as I ran my fingers through his curly hair hair.

"When is mother and Jace coming home?" The young boy asked tearfully. This forced me to stifle my own cry. Days had passed since the disappearance of my brother. Like me, mother lacked closure. I had not seen her in quite sometime. Rhaenys had told me she flew away in silence not muttering a word. She set out looking for any sign of Luke. Good or bad. Whereas Jace, I had no idea if he even knew of my brother's disappearance. Something within me told me he still remained naive to the heartbreak. A feeling. The last three days, everyone simply sulked around the council. But not Daemon, he was still preoccupied with his war.

"I miss them, I miss them all." Joffrey whispered still clutching me as he cried silently. I felt as if my heart dropped to my stomach. Rage suddenly returned as I bit the inside of my mouth, most likely causing blood. Yet I would never allow Joffrey to see such anger.

"I do as well. Let me tuck you into bed." I sighed picking the child up in my arms. He was growing, that was certain as I carried him to his bedchambers. After swiftly laying the boy down I didn't hesitant and running the the dragon pits. I passed Rhaenys on my way. Her arm shooting out to stop me, caused me to halt.

"Princess, you know you are not meant to leave the island." She began still clutching my wrist. I angrily jerked myself free. Ever since Daemon had became aware of my misdeeds he had me under strict supervision. He refused to allow me to leave Dragonstone, in fear that I would meet with the enemy. He even threatened to lock me in the dungeons below the castle. It infuriated me that he believed I would turn on my family as much so.

"I have been searching for days. There is no sign of Lucaerys." Rhaenys frowned, masking her own sadness. I stared at her watery eyes before yanking myself free. If I could not find Lucaerys, I was going to find Arrax. It would be easier to find a white dragon over that of a young boy. I continued on my March until I saw that of the silver and red dragon. Meraxes, noticing my presence lifted her head up from her rock she rested on and made a groaning sound. I was going to fly around the Shipbreaker Bay until I couldn't.

"Hello, Old Gal." I smiled softly at the nickname of my dragon as I placed my hand along her scales. The elderly dragon purred into my touch and I couldn't help but let out a sob. I gently leaned into the dragon and took shallow breaths. After regaining my ability to breathe I slowly pulled away and made my way to the side of the dragon. She lowered her magnificent wings to the ground and allowed me to climb above them. I shakily grabbed the reins of the saddle. The last time I had ridden Meraxes was when I left the Claw Isle. Once settled in, Meraxes took off into the sky. Meraxes flew towards the Stormlands. I glanced down from my dragons saddle as well flew above the open oceans beneath. I suddenly felt nauseous imagining what horrors my brother had endured. That fear quickly turned back into rage. I wanted nothing more than to fly to King's Landing and destroy them all. Aemond's smirking face appeared in my mind causing my rage to grow. I wanted nothing more then to watch him suffer.

I flew for hours upon hours. And nothing, there was no sign of Lucaerys or Arrax. I could not even see my mother or Syrax as they searched for my brother or any sign of him. Meraxes was growing exhausted and I could tell her wing was bothering her. I decided it was best to head back to Dragonstone. At the last second I flew passed Dragonstone and made my way to the one place where I knew I could truly be alone.

Once Meraxes had landed, I quickly slid down her back. Not even giving her enough time for me gracefully slide down her wing. I landed on the ground and looked up to see the familiar large tree that stood abandoned. For some twisted reason, I had been holding my breath in hopes that he would be here waiting on me. That he would be here to comfort me. What was wrong with me?

I practically ran to the base of the tree, tripping over my dress as I did so. I fell onto the tree and wrapped my arms around it as a sobbed escaped my mouth. I slumped down the base and screamed as loud as I could until my lungs felt like they were on fire. I wailed around screaming in complete agony. I pulled at my hair and sobbed. I could feel my voice grow hoarse as it burned. I had completely lost my voice due to the intense sobbing. After a while I leaned back against the white bark of the tree and looked up to the sky before dozing off.