the shade | gongfourz bnd ✓

three

I sat silently in my seat, reading the textbook over and over. I scratched the back of my head because despite my efforts, not a bit of knowledge seemed to stick. Why am I so bad at studying and memorizing?

I heard a chuckle next to me and instantly looked up. Leehan was chuckling while looking at me, and I raised my eyebrow. One thing about him is that he enjoys seeing me suffer. Take what happened a few weeks back for an instance, I was running down the stairs because I was late for class—he was behind me with Riwoo, telling me to slow down—and I stripped down the stairs.

Instead of helping me immediately, he laughed out loud, even holding his stomach while Riwoo just widened his eyes. I looked at them with pure pain, not just from how much it hurt but because I felt betrayed. Remind me again why I became friends with them. (Because of Leehan)

Jaehyun sat next to me to peek over what I was reading and looked at me with pure confusion in his eyes.

"What the hell are you reading?" he asked, his forehead creased. I shot him an annoyed look. "And I'm pretty sure you're not going to believe we have a quiz—" He didn't let me finish. He gasped, covered his mouth, and started ruffling his own hair.

"I didn't know!" he whispered as he returned to his seat. I turned back to my textbook, still trying to consume all the needed information before the quiz started.

"You look stupid," Leehan muttered casually, clearly enjoying my last-minute study panic. I shot him another glare. I can't believe I'm in love with this guy. Really? How can I love someone who always makes fun of me?

"Then help me," I replied. He just shook his head. Help me meant Can I copy your answers? And I know Leehan was definitely the kind of person who would never do such a thing. Even if he was part of a group full of troublemakers, he would never commit such an act. I knew he'd shut up after I said that. But I was shocked when his head-shaking turned into a slow nod.

"What the hell? Really?" I asked to make sure I wasn't just tripping. "Well, you gotta treat me at the snack bar later. This ain't free, dumbass." It seemed like all the annoyance I'd felt inside faded, and my eyes suddenly twinkled with stars. For a moment, I pictured Leehan with a halo above his head, like a savior.

I love him so much.

When I got his nod of assurance, I quickly gave him a big smile and closed the textbook instantly. The sound of the thud echoed inside the classroom, making everyone look at me. I muttered a small, embarrassed sorry as I pursed my lips.

My hands traveled to my chest, where I could feel my heart beating faster. Calm down, Taesan. You're going to make it obvious! And he's sitting next to you, so be fucking careful.

I was actually planning very hard on how to handle these overwhelming feelings, and a sudden idea came to me that I quickly brushed off. Confession. The only way to end this instantly is through confession, but I was too cowardly to do so. Up until now, I’ve been fighting with my inner self about whether to do it or not.

You know, the perks of being in love with someone within your circle of friends. It's even harder when they give signals that they might like you back, but in the end, it's really one of two things: either they really like you back or it was simply just an act as a friend with no malice.

The quiz started, and I kept my focus on Leehan. When I got the quiz sheet, I didn't even bother to look at the chemistry shits because I knew it would only make my head burst. Instead, I looked at Leehan, who was simply smiling down at the paper.

I waited for him to raise his head and lift his paper a little bit, but as I kept tapping my pen on my desk and my feet on the ground, Leehan still wasn't looking up. So I sighed and gave up hoping.

I forced myself to look at the sheet and sighed again. Why is this so hard? Well, it's partly my fault because I didn't study, but where did all the information I read earlier go? It's like it just vanished, and here I am, left with an empty brain.

I started doodling in the upper corner with random flowers and anime characters. As I did, a hand suddenly snatched the sheet away from me, making me yelp in shock. I almost said "What the fuck?" but quickly stopped myself before it got worse.

I looked up and saw Leehan glaring at me.

"I'm sorry," I mouthed, not expecting him to snatch the sheet like that without a heads-up. He replaced my quiz sheet, and my eyes twinkled at the sight. All the items were already answered. I glanced at Leehan again, but he was already writing down with his forehead creased, probably because of the silly doodles I did on the poor paper.

Nevertheless, I returned my glance to the sheet on my desk and pursed my lips to hide a smile. Leehan, how am I going to handle these feelings for you when all you ever do is make things worse?