the shade | gongfourz bnd ✓

eight

"Taesan, are you really okay?" Do I look that miserable for Sungho to ask that? Well, I can't blame him. "You've been glaring at Leehan's fish keychain for a while now." I quickly shifted my gaze outside the window.

"What's wrong? You've been out of it since yesterday." I heaved a sigh and shrugged. There's a lot wrong with me. I'm a coward who runs away from the things that scare him the most. Like how I tried to hide my feelings and acted like they didn’t exist at all when I was with him. It’s my way of trying to forget and staying silent because, according to me, it's the best solution I could come up with.

"I don't know. It's just hard. I'm frustrated." Sungho's face grew serious as he eyed me with his usual penetrating gaze, which is kind of scary.

"Yeah, I can tell you're having a hard time. Want to talk about it?" One thing I like about Sungho is that he's calm and always there when you need him. If you're friends with him, you can feel his sincerity. Even if you're not close, you can tell he's genuine about everything. That's why I like him, even if he sometimes joins Jaehyun and Woonhak in their questioning acts.

"It's about someone I like." Sungho nodded. "And it's not Jiyo." I added quickly, just in case he assumed again. I even emphasized her name. Sungho chuckled.

"So? What about it?"

"For, um, a reasonable reason, I can't confess." He eyed me. "And that's why you're having a hard time?" I nodded.

"You know, it's still weird for me to talk like this. I never really pictured you as someone in love," Sungho admitted.

"But whatever." He shrugged.

"Taesan, you can still confess to the person you like without rushing yourself. It takes time to muster the courage to stand before your crush and confess your feelings. However, you need to think deeply before committing such an act. I don't really know what reasonable reason you're talking about, whether it's because you're friends, in the same class, childhood friends, enemies, or anything else, you can't control the aftermath. It could be good or bad, and you might regret it or not." After his long statement, I found myself fidgeting.

"I'm scared," I muttered honestly.

"You'll just have to face it, and we're here. You can always ask for our help." My shoulders slumped. And that's the reason I can't ask for their help—because we're both friends with Leehan.

Jaehyun called out Sungho's name from afar, so Sungho stood up and left me alone. When I thought I finally had time to ponder, Leehan suddenly sat next to me, staring at me like I'm some kind of alien sent from another planet. I looked away because it was just too intense.

"What were you guys talking about?" he asked, and I shrugged. "What is it? You guys looked pretty serious." He insisted.

"It's..." But I couldn’t even find a proper excuse. Should I just say something else? I can’t even bring myself to face Leehan. I always look like a dumb person whenever he's in front of me; I can't even think straight (not that I ever am in the first place).

"Come on, what is it? I'm your friend too. Don't you remember? I even picked you as the person I like the mo—"

"Fine! Fine!" Argh, don't you dare make me remember that, Leehan. I'm pretty sure my face is already red as a tomato right now.

"So what is it?" He scooted closer. I sighed.

"It's just about my crush." His eyes widened, then he smiled. "Why? What about it?"

"I'm just too scared to confess." I finally muttered honestly. Let's see what his take is on this and what advice he'll give.

"Because your crush might not like you back?" I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "Do you think my crush will ever like me back?" He shrugged.

"Maybe? You won't really know unless you try." Easier said than done. I can't believe I'm talking about this with him.

"What about you? Let's say you're the one I like and I confessed to you, what would you think?" I stared at him. His smile slowly faded as he seemed deep in thought. Then he looked up with an amused glance.

"I'd be happy because you're Taesan, after all. Don’t you notice all the stares you get from the girls when we walk in the cafeteria?" Clearly no, how could I when I was focusing on you the whole time?

"That's it?"

"You're pretty talented in music. Remember during the school festival? You had to sub for our grade's singer because she was sick that day. You did great, and everybody was amazed by you." I looked away again and bit my lip to hide my smile.

"You barely smile, but when you do, it always lightens up the mood. Your smile is contagious. You have a special presence that makes people instantly like you. So, instead of being sad and emo here at the back, why don’t you muster up your courage and confess to your crush now?" I closed my eyes tightly and bit my lower lip hard so my mouth wouldn't slip the phrase, "You're the one that I love, idiot."

"Be brave, Taesan." He stood up, stretched his arms widely, and walked away.