the shade | gongfourz bnd ✓

six

I kept tossing and turning in my bed. I couldn't sleep. Frustrated, I picked up my phone and found myself scrolling through Twitter. My feed was filled with love advice (none of which I could even apply to myself), quotes, and memes. In short, my Twitter was boring.

But as I scrolled further, I stumbled upon a tweet thread that piqued my interest. The caption said something about confessing to someone before it's too late, and the picture contained a screenshot of a conversation. In it, a guy said, "I liked you back then too, but if you had told me you liked me, I would have reciprocated your feelings. But it's too late now; I'm in love with someone else."

My eyes widened as I read the conversation, and my stomach churned with a mix of emotions. I pulled the blanket over my head and stared at the conversation for a while. I kept reading it until my eyelids grew heavy, and I drifted off to sleep.

Even in my dreams, it didn't legt me. I kept my feelings to myself even in my dreams, I was too scared to confess there too. Then suddenly, I was at a wedding venue. I saw Leehan—yes, my MAN—standing at the center of the aisle, holding a girl's wrist (which was a horrifying sight, by the way) and looking at her happily.

And then woke up while gasping for breath. My heart was pounding like crazy as I clutched my chest. There's no way. Who was that girl? There's just no way. Leehan looked so happy that I felt tears burning in my eyes. But I didn't have time for drama, so I quickly got up and jogged to the bathroom.

I stared at my reflection after washing my face to fully wake myself up. (I yelped because I didn't realize my cheeks were still red and bruised from the accident.) What the heck was that? Is fate trying to tell me something? This is definitely not the sign I've been waiting for.

I couldn't believe what I had just dreamed. I won't even try to recall it. That was not cool and not amusing. I was scared, honestly.

I liked you back then too, but if you had told me you liked me, I would have reciprocated your feelings. But it's too late now; I'm in love with someone else.

I ruffled my hair and groaned. Is this really the sign? Should I confess my feelings already? Because that dream might literally come true, and if it does, at least I already have confessed to him, right? It wouldn't be too late, and there would be no room for regret.

I heaved a determined sigh and looked at my reflection again, holding my head high confidently.

"You got this, Han Taesan," I whispered to myself before heading out.

I ran as quickly as I could to my classroom. Great, I was late for the first period because my mind was a mess. I slowly opened the door and was about to tiptoe to my seat when I noticed the room was chaotic. There was no teacher in sight. Students were chatting, some were playing on their phones, and others were scribbling on the whiteboard.

I muttered a small "yes" under my breath, relieved that I wasn't the only one running late.

"Morning," I greeted my sleepy desk mate, Riwoo.

"Hmm," Riwoo lazily hummed, barely acknowledging me. I looked at Leehan's empty seat and scanned the room, but he wasn't there. I saw Jaehyun and Woonhak deep in conversation with our classmates while Sungho kept erasing doodles from the board, scolding our other classmates trying to write on where he had just wiped.

I tapped Riwoo's shoulder. "Where's Leehan?" He raised his head and looked at me with pure annoyance. "He's... I don't know."

I rolled my eyes and went outside. I leaned against the door, scanning the hallway, hoping to catch a glimpse of Leehan, but I couldn't see him. I sighed and put my headphones on, deciding to wait for him outside the door. Maybe he's late too.

I was firm in my decision to confess. I was going to confess right now, and nothing was going to stop me.

"Taesan?" A smile immediately crept onto my lips when I heard his familiar deep voice from my left. I plastered a big smile to greet him, but it slowly faded when I noticed a girl standing beside him.

Leehan was smiling at me, or more like smirking.

"This is Jiyo. Didn't you want to join the dance club?" He pointed to the girl beside him. I didn't look at her.

"I d-didn't..." I stuttered as I whispered those words. I kept looking at Leehan, searching for an explanation. Why was he bringing up the dance club? (I love dancing, but I love music more, so I don't plan on joining.) And why was he with this girl, Jiyo?

Leehan probably noticed the confusion in my eyes, so he excused himself to Jiyo and pulled me aside.

"I'm helping you with Jiyo. Stop acting stiff. Come on, Taesan, what are you doing? She's a great girl for you." I froze when I heard those words.

Right, all he knows is that I have feelings for Jiyo. I... I shouldn't cry because of this. Damn it. Why are you doing this to your poor friend, Leehan?

And just like that, my plan to confess ended right there.