The World I Knew Isn't The Same Anymore

Chapter 15 Get Out of My Head

The color green is monstrous. And to Monica Whitmore it represents so much; Chase's eyes, envy, greed, lust and pride. She remembers a Siren's poem from childhood called Green.

What's the secret of being together?
The invisible attraction that holds everyone to one another.
Or how about the secrets to keep the demons out of our heads?
To keep our pride high enough to just pass us by...

It's hard to stay sane.
It's even harder to stay in control.
We all have desires, some sprinkled with lust.
Our desires blind us into envious monsters, filled with greed and pride...

We want it all.

But minds go at a different pace.
That's what ruptures the invisible attraction that holds people together.
We all want different things at different times.
We all turn a little green in those shady moments.

It's risky going for what you want.
There's more green and tolerance in other people.
They have demons in their minds as well.
A darkness even in the brightest parts of someone exists beneath the surface of skin.

Bite your tongue and kiss your knuckles.
Watch as the invisible attraction slowly deteriorates.
In the end we're nothing but covered in green.
When you're alone in the darkness.

Sirens have always been mystical creatures, and depending who you hear the folklore from they could be good or bad. The way Monica grew up was Sirens always got what they wanted, including people. They did come from beautiful mermaids who tricked pirates into crashing their ships, then they'd do whatever they please to them and leave with their gold.

Monica feels like she's hit an identity crisis now, and she's being consumed with jealously and envy towards Chase because of Bree. Not once in her entire life has she ever not gotten who or what she wanted, and now all she can think about is how she failed to get under Chase's skin.

She tries to remind herself that he is the Phoenix, and being that means that she can't necessarily get into his mind. But that just makes it worse, he left on his own free will and she wasn't enough as she is to make him stay. The thought makes her sick to her stomach, something she isn't used to at all. It makes her skin crawl with anticipation and darkness in her mind, something that she's fought all her life against. If she didn't, she probably wouldn't be in her position at the academy that she's at today.

Sirens can turn bad, and honestly there's not many good ones left. She's never inquired how they turn bad, but the dark feeling inside her seems to be growing more and more resulting from the fact that she didn't get what she wanted. It's ironic, because she never felt like she actually had feelings for Chase, but it is a defeat. Sirens thrive on sultriness, prowess and dark feminine energy. And failing is just something that isn't in their nature which is why Monica thinks she's so hung up about it.

She's not scared to tap into dark energy. In fact, she doesn't think she's scared of anything at all... except maybe feeling defeat. It's like her mind is on a constant loop of wanting to achieve her desires. But her physical realm is preventing it from happening. It's agonizing and chaotic.

After hearing from a couple of her classmates that Chase went out for a birthday dinner and didn't invite her, but he invited Bree, makes her blood boil - and she thinks maybe this is how Bree feels when she lets go of her fire. Monica does the first thing she can think of which is to scream at the top of her lungs with her face head down in her pillow so no one can hear. And she does that for a while to try and drown out the noise in her head.