𝗪𝗔𝗜𝗧 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗠𝗘 ━━ l. valdez

𝐗𝐕 ; we were blind to unforeseen circumstances

title from 'the black dog' by taylor swift

౨ৎ･ﾟ:*

I HAD TO SAY, i was pretty disappointed i didn't have time for a wardrobe change before we left on this quest.

i didn't see how i could do much of anything in those strappy sandals and my dark blue hooded cloak. also, i was freezing!

i never thought i'd wish to be dressed in jeans and a jacket but, here i was. after dressing in modern clothes for over a month now, i had gotten used to it.

i touched the greek cross on my neck out of habit. i was shocked that it hadn't disappeared when i was claimed by styx.

i tried to let the fact that my religion was fake sink in. i could already feel the fabrics of my ethics and beliefs crumbling in on me. i should have felt defeated and ashamed, but oddly, i felt free.

then i felt guilty for feeling that way. almost my entire life was my religion. my grandparents would read the bible to me every night before i went to sleep. now, the second i was told something else could be real, i abandoned everything i knew.

but i was mounted with guilt my entire life. everything i did was wrong and evil, i always needed penance. my grandparents, particularly my grandmother, constantly had me seeking religious forgiveness for every minor mistake i made. my entire childhood felt like bricks were being stacked on my shoulders.

now, i was told i was a child of a greek goddess of the underworld. not only was it against my religion to believe in multiple gods, but i was a child of the underworld. in my religion, the underworld was where those who committed the most atrocious of sins would go to be punished. now, i was being told that the underworld was the home of my mother. i was probably born there.

i thought i was a child of god, a child of love, a child of penance and mercy. but i wasn't. i was a child of the underworld, of hatred and loathing, of binding oaths and justice, of death.

the underworld didn't mercy. it only had justice.

it was a scary thought, one that should of had me shuddering, but it didn't. in a way, it felt right. it made sense.

my whole life i had felt like my religion was lying to me. the tortured souls of the underworld that had constantly reached out to me since childhood weren't evil. they were just hurt and trapped.

but i clung to my religion like a lifeboat. it was the only thing that kept my afloat through my time in the labyrinth. but now, i knew there were other forces protecting me down there.

i could finally let go.

it felt like breathing.

but i could only breathe for a moment, flying on this giant bronze dragon, because soon, our dangerous quest would really begin. we'd be fighting monsters i've never even heard of. things even worse than the minotaur.

i looked at the boy in front of me. i couldn't believe leo valdez. the way he tamed the bronze dragon and gave it wings? incredible. for all the teasing i give him, he really did impress me.

i never really took him seriously. he was always that tinkering hyper scrawny kid to me. but i couldn't even try to see him that way anymore. he still did love to tinker and he was very hyper and skinny, but he was so much more than that. i felt bad for not seeing it earlier.