Heart attack (Kai x reader)

Lloyd garmadon

I was reading a book about myths and legends while the boys played video games in front of me. They had offered a controller to me but understood when I told them I wasn't interested in playing with them. 

"Come on y/n!" Well, most of them. "I get you've never played before, but neither has Zane! And he's not doing too badly!" 

"You guys are already dealing with one new player. I doubt you need two." I said, barely looking up from my book. Unlike the boys, who have gotten a little lazy with nothing to do, I sort of kept up with my training, the integrated pressure to be perfect always on my mind. It was hammered so far into me, I felt I still couldn't really be myself. Could I act myself? Sort of. Can I look like me?

I asked myself that every day. Would I dye my hair back to its normal color, and stop straightening it? Would I ditch the contacts for a bit and go back to my glasses? (Maybe at night, but honestly, with life as a ninja, I doubt I'd be able to do that without them flying off my face.) Could I go without wearing my makeup under my mask? 

Could I really just be me? 

Insecurity was eating me up on the inside, and I heard my mothers voice, scolding me about not being pretty enough. About being too lazy. About not eating right- which she did have a slight point about, eating too much pizza isn't good for you- about not being the perfect little princess I once was. As much as I wanted to leave all that behind me, I felt like I couldn't. Like it was too engrained in me, even now almost a year later. 

It's nearly been a year since I left home, and not one call from my mother. She truly, did not care about me. Just what I could give her. 

My brothers on the other hand, wrote to me often, and we called when we had the chance. 

While I was zoning out, the boys had gone back to playing their game. I wanted to join in, I really did, but I didn't want to mess them up, so I let them be. Going back to my book, and tuning out their yelling, I soon heard sounds of disappointment fill the air. Confused, I looked up to see sensei with the T.V. cord in hand. "It took us three hours to get there! Three hours!"

"Why would you do that? Why?"

"Just because Lord garmadon escaped through a vortex, doesn't mean he won't return one day for the golden weapons of spinjitzu!"

"But sensei, ever since he's been gone, there's been nothing but peace in ninjago."

"Yeah, peace is boring. There's no one to save, there's nothing to do."

"We can train tomorrow." Cole said, laying back. 

"Never put off until tomorrow what can be done today."

"Well, I was going to eat this pizza tomorrow, but in that case-"

"No pizza for you!" Sensei said, kicking it out of his hand. "In order to reach your full potential, you must train. And I must say, I'm disappointed to see Nya and y/n being the only ones using the equipment!" Cole glared at me, and I raised my hands in surrender. 

"I get restless! It's one of the best ways to let out energy!" I defended. He rolled his eyes, but I saw a smile playing on his face, so I could tell he wasn't really mad. 

"Yeah, remember when we did a little thing called 'tornado of creation?' I thought that was pretty insane." 

"Oh, you five have merely scratched the surface of your full potential. There are still so many secrets you have yet to unlock! You haven't even begun to tap into the power your golden weapons hold." I didn't train with my golden weapon since I didn't want to cause too much damage around me, but he has a point. I can't get better with it if I don't practice with it.