Forgetting the Apocalypse

50. Loss pt. 1

Roone's Pov*

I don't know what the fuck happened!

Things were starting to slow down a bit after the apartment. My brother had time to write enough entries to finish a journal and start a new one. He asked some questions and played out his thoughts to us that made sense to us on a level that shouldn't be possible. But as always, my little brother has a way of seeing the impossible by piecing everything together.

However, now I'm not so sure he'll ever want to write again.

Two days earlier

"Seriously, what more could you possibly be scribbling down Rivs?" Boaz asked.

Honestly, I wanted to ask the same thing. Despite the curiosity for my brother's writings, I was more curious about the little looks that Kailee gives him when he's not looking. At first I thought it was just in my head. Things have been going a lot better between Mara and I that we started sleeping next to each other again. She no longer flinches at my touch but actually sought after my hand to hold.

Because of this, I naturally thought that I was just projecting my own bliss between the two of us onto them. But seeing her ask him questions just to hear him talking because half the time I can tell in her eyes that she doesn't understand much of what he's saying. And yet, she listens very intently as if she's going to get quizzed on the matter.

I don't think my brother is as oblivious to her admiration as he might be letting on as Mara pointed out that he has tried too hard to make sure we don't look at his notes. I mean, we all have our things that are a no touch. Mara has her knives, I have my clothes and so it's no surprise that his notebooks are his thing. We all respect each other's boundaries, and to the untrained eye it just looks like he's just being his usual self but she's right. He's trying too hard.

It's almost like when someone tells you "don't look now but..." and then you have to do everything in your power to not instantly turn your head. I would've loved to have teased him the way that he did with me when I first was with Mara but she told me not to get involved.

Their little banter kept up well after breakfast. It caught us all by surprise, even Boaz, when we were taking a quick break and he started writing something down. I didn't hear what she had spoke or asked but I saw his smile and he, without any form of hesitation or reluctance, he reached into his pack and pulled out one of his older notebooks and handed it to her.

The whole ordeal lasted no more than two minutes but it was surreal. Firstly, the care in which Kailee handled his notebook it was as if she was carrying a newborn. I don't mean that she was craddling it in her arms but in the way she made sure to be gentle with it. Secondly, I always knew that my brother had a smile that could make any woman swoon. I can't tell you how many times that he flashed it to our principal and gotten away with only a warning. So, when I tell you that this smile would put all other to shame you better believe it.

What made all this funnier was that once the shock of the notebook wore off Boaz went into protective brother mode. Or at least tried to. As soon as he saw that his sister reciprocated the feelings, he was torn between being protective and being the younger sibling who embarrasses the older one.

After we caught our breath, we pushed forward until we had to stop again because Fredi and Mara's shoes had finally given out. Even if we added more duct tape to them, the old tape was still peeling off so it wouldn't take correctly. Besides, not even an entire roll would be able to patch up the big tear that Fredi had going on the side of foot.

"Any houses nearby? I don't think our shoes would survive walking all the way back to the last market we had passed."

Riva wrote something quickly before putting his notebook away and pulling out a few of the maps that he picked up. One of them had been for residential areas, which is exactly what we were looking for right now and after flipping through a couple of pages we found a neighborhood that was closest to where we were. We walked a little slower so that their shoes wouldn't rip from the last thread they were hanging on.