Forbidden Freedom

Chapter 22

Nowadays

England

A piercing gaze bores two symmetrical holes into my back. I don't even have to turn around to know who exactly is trying to incinerate me alive.

Since our argument, Selina hasn't sat next to me in class, diligently avoiding my company and choosing seats far away. Even now, she's sitting several rows behind me, undoubtedly sending a lot of curses my way.

I can't blame her for this. If I were in her shoes, I'd have pulled out all my hair and asked my influential family to deal with the insolent bully. I said a lot of hurtful things to her. No matter what Selina is like, she doesn't deserve to be treated that way.

Yes, she's childish in some ways (especially in studies), doesn't think much about her future, and isn't concerned with how she'll live going forward. Her life was decided from the moment she was conceived, if not earlier. She was raised differently, has a different worldview, different goals, and dreams. She never wanted to achieve independence from her family.

But me... I don't want to be like my mother. I don't want to depend on men, especially my father, no matter how good or bad he is. But seeing my stepmother, who is also my former best friend, accepting money from their family, and spending Christmas together... No, that's not for me.

One day, I will forgive him and her, start accepting their gifts, and celebrate holidays at the same table. One day. But not now.

On the other hand, I'm very grateful that my life turned out the way it did. Because of it, I realized what I truly want.

Now, I'm pursuing my childhood dream instead of lying on the dirty floor of a night club, trying to escape the annoying reality. Most importantly, I understood who I really am. I'm not perfect, but no one can claim that title.

I sigh heavily, doodling another scribble on the edge of my notebook page. The professor is discussing construction planning, what to pay attention to, and where to start.

But my mind is far from the university. As important as my studies and my hard-won study grant are, my thoughts refuse to focus on the crucial information.

Behind me, Selina tries to devour me with her angry gaze. Next on the schedule is a class with Ethan. I feel like I'm caught between two fires.

Lately, my life feels like an action-packed movie written by a twisted screenwriter. No matter how much I want to avoid confronting my past, it has caught up with me.

In the form of Ethan Blake and my demons, which I had successfully locked away in the depths of my mind.

Something hits my back, and I turn halfway around. The barely restrained smile of Selina's pursed lips and her gaze wandering across the ceiling betray her.

"Seriously?" I whisper as I discover a crumpled piece of paper, torn from a student newspaper. "This is so childish."

My displeasure is mirrored by an annoying smile on Chiara's face, our classmate who has been glued to Selina lately. Even before she used to gaze at Selina longingly but was too afraid to say a word because I was always around.

Selina loves to use people to her advantage. She was born to manipulate others. I noticed this in the first weeks of our acquaintance. But Selina never allowed herself to treat me that way.

With me, she was different. Softer, more caring, more attentive...

I turn away in shock, realizing the obvious fact—Selina is head over heels in love with me. Not just infatuated, as I had thought, but truly in love. This thought was so apparent that I failed to see it. And now, hurt, she's trying to provoke me while in Chiara's company. That damn Italian model with fewer brains than a lizard.

So, what am I supposed to do with this discovery?

I try to listen to my feelings, but there's only emptiness inside. Flashes of closeness with Selina are replaced by Ethan's face. My moans in his office echo in my head, drowning out everything else.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

My head starts to ache from the jumbled thoughts. Memories cling to me like burrs, refusing to let go. I begged myself to forget Ethan. I even watched YouTube videos on how to sever energetic ties with exes. But damn it, none of it worked.

My lips still tingle with the desire to press against Ethan's. The one thing I couldn't do just a few evenings ago when one of his students interrupted us...

"Thank you all for your attention!" the professor's voice reaches me.

A chill of terrifying runs through me as the professor ends the lesson. For the next two academic hours, I'll be in the same room with Selina and Ethan.

Only Devil knows whether the tension and the sparks in the air will ignite the classroom or if heaven will spare us that fate.