Difference

Chapter nine.

Aliyah Rain.
_________

Standing at the door, I sit and stare off at the floor and the view of the hallway I have.

Tears brewing in my eyes, I don't speak or make a sound.

Trapped in a loop of what I had said and done, my mom walks down the stairs and sees me. She places her hands on my shoulder. " Liyah, what's wrong? "

" I can't do it again, mom. I can't do it again, I really don't want too. " I choke up.

" Baby, what do you mean? What do you not want to do? " She looks at me, concerned.

" It felt different between me and Blane, I done something. I screwed it all up, and it feels weird in my heart. " A tear rolls down my face.

" What kind of different? Did you guys have a fight or kiss or something? " She questions.

" Mom I don't want to like someone again, I can't. I really can't, I just don't want to. " I feel the tears start to stream down my face.

" Its okay to though, maybe it's for the best. You now know that your heart is capable maybe. " She embraces me.

" I couldn't take it again, I won't. " She shakes her head. " I know your scared, but wonder if it isn't like that? You never know. "

I haven't liked or loved a boy since my first love. His name was Laken, he was my bestest friend.

We met each other through the mafia, he had been in the British empire just like me.

A few years ago, at one of our balls there was a raid. A shooting raid, the American empire. That's why we both was against each other, and didn't get to peace until a week ago.

Me and Laken was dancing, next to the stairs where the doors were. It happened so quick, Laken had saw the people come in and moved me to the safer side.

He had gotten shot for me, and bled in my arms while he died.

His mothers scream had pierced my soul, and still does to this day

I remember him looking at me and saying how bad he was scared, that he didn't want to die. He wanted to stay with me, get married, have little babies and have a big home.

That night, made our 4 year anniversary and the night he planned on proposing to me.

Months later, his mother had told me about his plan and how he had asked my mother and father for their permission weeks before.

He was my first everything, my first kiss, first guy I ever held hands with, the first guy to ever hug me and kiss me goodbye, my first time, everything I had was with him.

I haven't loved a guy ever since, it's just to painful too. Tonight was the first time I've ever felt something remotely similar to what I felt with Laken.

It freaked me out, that's why I ran out of the car and was yelling at Blane. Love just doesn't feel right to me, no more.

" Maybe this is Laken, he sent you Blane. To show you that he doesn't want you alone. " My mother tears up, looking at me.

" This is the first time, in years that I've seen you happy like you was with Laken. Hasn't it felt good? "

" Mom, I'm so scared though. What if I loose Blane like I lost Laken? " I sniffle. " It's life, baby..you never know what's gonna happen. "

"But I'm most definitely positive you don't want to miss it, because what if you do allow yourself to fall in love with him. "

" Then you figure out that it's the best thing you've done in your life since. " She wipes a tear from my cheek.

" I loved Laken. " I sigh. " I know baby, I know. But you can't restrict yourself from other people or having another chance to fall inlove because of it. "

I nod. " I know, it just hurts. " She holds my face. " It's hurt you for years though, but you've stuck through it."

I hug her, again. I know she's tried, &'l
1 am and she got just out of the hospital a few days ago.

" Thank you, I love you. " I release her from the hug. " I love you, Im gonna head to bed. Are you gonna be okay? "

I nod. " Yeah, I will be. Go get to bed, I'll see you in the morning. " She kisses me cheek before walking down the hallway.

I start my way up the stairs, and go into my room. Turning the light on in the bathroom, I put the temperature of water I want to shower in.

Getting in, I let the water run down my body and soak my hair.

Rubbing the shampoo into my scalp, Lemons & Vanilla aroma runs through my nose. My favorite smell ever, I love it.

Finishing the shower, I get out and wrap my towel around my body.

Entering my bedroom, I look at my nightstand then hesitantly walk over to it. Opening the drawer, I grab a small case and lift the opening.

The ring Laken had bought for me, sits there in its beauty. The diamond on it shines like a metallic color towards the light, I look upwards towards my window.

It's almost completely dark in my room, how is it shining?

The shining stops, when I look back at the ring. Personally, I think it's a sign that everything's gonna be fine.

A small paper falls from the drawer, I pick it up. Unfolding it, ' Don't let it ever stop you, the darkness holds a thousand colors. '

Where did this come from? I sit on my the edge of my bed, looking at the note.

I smile and put both of the things back in my drawer, walking into the closet throwing on a big t-shirt and a pair of underwear.

Getting in bed, I cover up and close my eyes trying to sleep.

Finally after about 15 minutes, my eyes rest and I fall to sleep comfortably in my bed.