Difference

Chapter seventeen.

Blane Orson
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Aliyah sleeping is truly one of the best sights I've ever seen.

Especially when it's on me, it's absolutely gorgeous. She looks beautiful, and it's hard to believe that I'm laying here with her.

I've always had girls come at me, asking me for anything, like sex, a date, even down to the weirdest things you'd ever hear.

Through my whole life, it's been like that and I've had no way to stop it besides reject them.

Of course, I've had sex but I'm not crazy about it. I haven't had anything like that since I was in high school.

I mean I did love it and all, but I didn't get the want with everyone.

Maybe it was with the wrong person, or something. I mean I did loose my virginity with a girl I didn't really like or anything.

I done it because everyone kept dragging on with ' How in the world is Blane Orson not having sex? He is the hottest guy in school, girls chasing after him at every corner. ' So I just got it over with.

My whole life, I've actually never had someone to call my girlfriend or wanted to be with them romantically.

I grew up reading about love, but never had it in real life. Probably because every girl I ever talked to, wanted just sex.

If I want to get in a relationship, I don't want it to just be based on sex.

I want the dates, the hard conversations, the late nights talking, and the good, then the ugly. Not just the sex.

I know sex is an important part in a relationship, but so is talking. You have to talk, to know what your partner likes.

I place a kiss on the top of Aliyah's temple, I hate that I wasn't here to protect her before then.

She couldn't been dead if I didn't speed here, or if my father broke in. It would've been all my fault, because I made my father angry.

It was his fault that I kicked him out, he had taken it too far this time.

Letting my siblings see him strangle my mother on the floor, is utterly ridiculous.

He deserved to be killed.
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Somehow I winded up falling asleep, didn't even mean to.

But Aliyah is gone and out of my arms, I heard the shower running so I imagine she's in the shower. I rub my face, trying to wake up.

It's only 5 pm, which isn't that late so at least we didn't just sleep the day away.

I groan quietly into the pillow, then hear the shower turn off and the bathroom door open up. I turn upwards, seeing Aliyah walk out in just a towel.

Her tanned brownish toned back was in view, smoothed shoulders and I could almost say I saw the visible water drops on her skin.

For the first time in years, I feel myself hardening. I quietly curse myself, as she turns around and widens her eyes at me. " Oh my god, I'm sorry I didn't know you were awake and was just gonna try to run to my closet. "

I'm quick to say, " No, no it's okay don't worry about it, I just woke up like a minute ago. " She nods, " Okay, ima go.." she points toward the closet, then I quickly nod.

I'm almost bulging at the zipper of my pants, and I wish I wasn't. Of course this happens at the worst time possible, why couldn't this happen anywhere else?

She comes out of the closet, in shorts and a t-shirt. " Are you hungry? " Not for whatever your thinking, I tell my mind to shut up.

" If your hungry, we can go get some food? " I offer. She smiles, " Okay then..you can pick whatever we eat. "

She's gonna kill me, I want her too. I get out, thank god that I changed into black suit pants before I left.

She opens the door, and walks out waiting for me. We go back down to my car, I glance at where everything went down earlier.

I cleaned it up, after putting Aliyah in her sheets. Getting in my car, I drive about 10 minutes down the road to her favorite diner.

Walking to the front door of the diner, we go in and sit in the booth we had the night before.

Ordering the food she asks, " I'm just realizing I don't know much about you..and I don't think you know much about me. "

" I guess that's true, well..what do you want to know? " I look at her. She suggested. " 3 questions? Then you get to ask me 3 more." I nod, shrugging.

" 1.) What's your favorite color? "

" Black. "

"2.) Biggest fear? "

" Failure. "

" 3.) Biggest dream? "

" To have a family, a big one. "

I answered her questions, honestly because what had I have to hide. There was no need to hide between the questions, it's Aliyah.

" Okay my turn, so how many questions again? " I ask. " 3. " I nod.

" 1.) Whats your favorite hobby? "

" Reading. "

Never had expected that from her, I would've thought shopping or something?

" 2.) Whats your life goal? "

" To give someone the life I never had. "

The change of her voice had changed, I could tell there were some meaning behind what she had said.

" 3.) Reverse question, what's your biggest fear? "

" Being infertile. "

The food comes shortly after, as we eat and talk about the questions. They were more questions throughout eating, and I enjoyed it.

It was nice talking about things like that, after not being able to my whole life. My father always appointed that I was supposed to not have dreams, nor fears in life.

Fear was a weakness in his eyes, but he was built off of fear as was I.

Fear of failure was big for me, I could never fail my father. I was terrified too, so I made everything sure of that I would never fail him.

It worked until I grew up and realized failure is apart of success. You can't always please somebody, they'll always be moments where you fail.

In my story, I wasn't able to fail. I couldn't fail, if I did I'd either physically get punched in the face instead of mentally.

My thinking gets interrupted by finishing off my food. I look up, at the glance of Aliyah.

With her, I didn't have to fear failure at most. Like today, she assured me that I done everything I could've done and I protected her.

Does it feel strange not being yelled at for being late, very. But it also feels relieving, almost.

At this moment, I made a pact with myself to do whatever I can not to let Aliyah get injured or hurt..even worse get killed.