My Beginning & The End: Where The Road Led [REWRITTEN]

Killer or killed

2.

Why, I ask myself, did I believe?
Why did I never question my belief?

I hoped for lies when I knew the truth.
Why did I pursue the thing that hurt the most?

Days after the occurrence, I thought back to that man by my father's grave. Was it him? Did he come back as a ghost? I didn't have the courage to investigate who it was standing in the dark. Maybe it was just the illusion of the darkness wanting for me to believe in a mirage.

Ethan wondered where my thoughts were occupied and asked me why I had been so distant. I scoffed back at him, saying it was nothing. I told him I was just nervous because of the next semester. He looked back at me strangely and asked me if I was okay. He was always so intuitive, and I hated it. I locked eyes with him and saw his concern staring back. I loved him while I hated to do so. I had thoughts of breaking us up and ending our sorrowful relationship that was dragging on. He loved me with his whole entire soul and being, and I couldn't give him that back.

I wasn't too sure what to tell him that wouldn't tip him off that there was something wrong even if I knew he had already calculated everything I was thinking with just a glare. I didn't want to confront my feelings of loss just yet. I couldn't talk about what I had seen because if it really was Father, I had no reason to lament. He wasn't gone forever he was simply gone for a while. I full heartitly believed foolishly that I could find him alive. I believed it was him. I felt hope like I hadn't before. I had always had something in the back of my mind telling me he was okay, that he was alive. But I had always tried to resist the idea of him ever coming back. It would only bring more pain. It didn't take much to set the thought aflame, kindling my belief of his return.

I got up abruptly and told Ethan I had to go. He grabbed my hand and told me to be careful. He had heard there were a bear mouling animals on the loose. It was only a matter of time before it got a taste for human flesh. I scoffed back at him like he had just told a lie to child. I left without saying goodbye and drove back down to the graveyard to find my father again.

The sun shone brightly in my eyes, blinding me and obstructing my view. I couldn't see anything but the sun rays dancing through the dirty windshield of my car.

Suddenly, a black shadow was cast on the glass. I stopped just as I hit him. I hit a man I thought panicking. I quickly ran out and checked to see if the man was still alive. I looked under the car, beside the car, I checked everywhere and I couldn't see anyone. There wasn't even a dead rodent in sight.

In my memory, I could swear I saw someone appear in the middle of the road, and I felt a bump as I hit them. I hit something. I turned off the radio and pulled to the side of the road. I sat in silence for an hour with nothing on my mind but anxiety till I regained the courage to slowly turn the ignition back on.

I drove back home and never spoke to anyone about the man that I had hit or my hallucination of doing so. I could feel the car hit him. He must have run or crawled away. Was it Father, maybe? I thought for a long time. I felt guilt for hitting a ghost. I let the feeling starve me. Chipping me away to the core.

Ethan called me numerous times, but each time my phone buzzed, the less I wanted to answer. I didn't want to face anyone or anything.

I fell asleep as I heard a knock on the front door. Assuming it was Ethan, I didn't bother to let him in. The knock came closer. It was on my bedroom door now. I couldn't wake up, even when I tried to open my eyes. I heard four spaced out knocks beside me like someone was knocking on my skull to see if I still had my mind intact. I could see two bright crystal blue eyes staring back into mine. The door opened slowly, and no one stood in the doorway. Only a shadow of a figure. I looked into the dark and saw the glowing blue eyes in the darkness of my room. I didn't recognize them, but their gaze felt familiar.

I jolted awake and looked around my room, expecting to see someone there. The door was open just like I had dreamt. I checked my phone and saw it was almost midday. Ethan sent me a message that he was coming over, but the message had been sent 8 hours before. If it was him, which made little sense to me because Ethan had earthy brown eyes. I clearly saw blue glowing eyes. It was just a dream I convinced myself. Ethan came and left. The eyes were a hallucination, I concluded.

I went on about my day as normal. I stayed home and watched TV. I had a strange feeling something was off. I brushed off my paranoia and went on a walk to refresh my mind. The feeling didn't go away. I felt like I had company. I wasn't alone.

I tried calling Ethan, but he didn't answer. I went back home, and Ethan had parked his car in the driveway. I ran to the door and found him in the kitchen eating a pomegranate he had stolen from the fridge. I felt it best that I tell him about my strange feeling of being accompanied by a ghost that followed me from my fathers grave. He put down the pomegranate and stared at me as if the phantom was standing right behind me. "Where have you been? I was worried to death. You didn't answer any of my calls or text messages." He said with a stern tone. "My phone must have died. I was sleeping and I forgot to charge it." I answered back. I was used to lying to him just to avoid him. The guilt no longer had any effect on me. "They figured out it wasn't an animal after all." He said, looking down at the pomegranate in his hand. "What?" I asked back. I didn't realize what he was talking about. I had completely forgotten what he had mentioned right before I left him.

"There's a killer in our town." He said, looking back at me with a frightful expression on his face.

"-why do they think it's a serial killer. It could be an animal on a rampage." I answered back.

"They have a witness. I saw it happen in front of my own eyes." -"She screamed silently just before she took one last breath as her eyes went blank." -"I could see her lost soul wander away." His voice quivered slightly, and his eyes glossed.

"Oh my God, Ethan. Are you okay?" I said, shocked. I felt a cold breeze hover around us with a realization.

I pulled him tightly in an embrace. He cried as he mumbled something that I couldn't understand through his snuffel. He suddenly pulled away from me. He had stopped crying and looked away into the abyss. "He couldn't leave any witnesses." He said coldly. His eyes were shallow and pale. He collapsed to the floor. I bent down over him, trying to shake him awake. His eyes were open, still looking out into the nothingness. "Ethan!" I screamed. I sat down and pulled him to me as I wished to wake up. This isn't reality. I must wake up, I thought to myself. It's just a nightmare, that's all it is. I rocked him in my arms. I could feel tears pouring down my face as I tried to pull myself back to reality. I knew he was gone, but I refused to believe it.

I closed my eyes, and it all went away. I was tucked in bed and slowly falling asleep as I listened to my father read me a bedtime story. I couldn't keep my eyes open and fell asleep right before he had finished the fairytale.