My Beginning & The End: Where The Road Led [REWRITTEN]

A strangers grave

6.

I felt as the light stopped shining and the dark came over me. Recalling your past has woken something I had hidden withinside of me. Something you regret, but you would never come to know what it meant.

I reported what I knew to the police. I had to, otherwise I wouldn't be able to live with myself. The guilt would quite literally eat me from the inside out. I was honest and told the truth, some of it, not in it's entirety. I left out the parts, which made me sound like I was derange. I wasn't losing my mind. Some things were impossible to explain. I wasn't going to tell them there was a man appearing out of thin air and then disappearing just as quickly. I couldn't say I was having nightmares and the killer on the lose would visit me in said nightmares. They would have me arrested or sent away immediately. They have all that I can give. Ethan has yet to wake up. I needed this nightmare to be over. He needs to reveal his side.

- - -

I visited Ethan in the hospital. I got to hold his hand. I wasn't sure if he was listening or not, but either way I asked him to stay. I loved him. I felt that I couldn't show him that when we were together. I wondered why he did stay. Why did he love me too? "Just please wake up, if not for me, then do it for your mother, father and siblings, hell even your family dog. Just don't leave... don't leave me." I thought I felt his hand squeeze mine as I spoke. I just wished he would have woken up. He doesn't deserve this. He's a good soul. His future was so bright it outshone the sun.. I just hoped the sun wouldn't envy his light and let him rot in the dark night where nothing is forgiving. He'd never come back if he got lost, if I was there with him I could have guided him. He could leave me behind to start to relive his life. I, I can handle being all alone with no glimmer of hope. I don't have a life to live without him. It's better to not kill two birds with one stone this time.

- - -

In the distance I could see the stanger emerge from the fog. He held out his hand to me. I placed my hand in his and he led me back into the fog. The skies cleared and the sun shone down rays of light flickering slowly through the trees.

We walked through the wooded land and after awhile I could see a house. It was tall and beautiful. It had a pale blue exterior. The windows sills were a dark crimson red. The roof was a navy blue color. The windows themselves were a work of art. He led me inside. He hadn't spoken a word, nor had I. I understood what he was thinking with just a glance in his eyes.

He let go of my hand and I started exploring the home. I found few old photographs. I looked at them and saw us together. I had no recollection of ever posing for the photographs. I didn't even know the strangers name. I strolled around the house as if I had lived there before. It was all so natural, like I knew exactly where to go and what to look for. The house must have been at least a 100 years old. The photograph that I had found were probably take around the same time the house was constructed.

- - -

I woke up sitting on a chair next to Ethans hospital bed. The room was dimly lit and the curtains were drawn. "I should go, visiting hours are probably long over.-" I said to myself as I started to gather my stuff into my bag. "Don't leave just yet... Jade." I froze in place. My heart jumped a beat. His emphasis on my name felt strange and unnatural. I looked back at the hospital bed and realized Ethan wasn't there. "Ethan?" I stupidly asked.

I ran into his arms and almost tipped him over. "You should be in bed right now." I said holding him tight. The logic of him magically waking up healed never crossed my mind at the moment. He was completely fine. It was as if nothing had happened. "I miss you, Jade" He said slowly with a tremble in his voice. "I'm right here Ethan. Everything's going to alright." -"You should get back to bed. It can't be good for you to be wandering around all alone." I said smiling even when I noticed his teary eyes.
"I loved you, I truly did, Jade." -"I'm sorry." He said with a tear streaming down his cheek. "I love-" I said before I was cut off by a sharp beeping sound waking me up

I felt dazed as I looked around still sitting on the chair next to Ethans hospital bed. He had a firm grip on my hand. The noise kept going and I soon realized the noise was coming from one of the machines he was hooked up to. I couldn't comprehend what had just happened in a matter of a few seconds of waking up. "Ethan?" I mumbled as I noticed his eyes were blankly staring up at the heavens. "Ethan..."

A nurse entered into the room and I completely blacked out. I remember bits and pieces. I remember I could hear the nurse saying something but I could make out what words she said. I felt like a ghost hovering around haunting the place. A useless soul who couldn't save him, I could never save them. He died squeezing my hand as if to let me know he had to go. He tried to come back, I know he did. He fought so hard but it wasn't enough.
Why am I so useless. I could just have anwsered his calls and he wouldn't have died. He would still be alive. I'm sorry Ethan. I can't help anything...

- - -

Over the next few weeks I felt nothing. I ate when I was reminded of it. I couldn't shower. I barley brushed my teeth. I didn't even think of brushing my hair. Sleeping was like an escape. I could see Ethans face clearly. He was happy and had a big grin each time I dreamt of him, which was every night and day, every time I closed my eyes. His face soon started to become distorted and then it was no longer a face I was looking at. There was nothing to dream about anymore. He was gone. And for the first time I cried after he died. I didn't cry at his funeral. I dropped a rose into his casket and said my goodbye and waited till dawn to say hello just as my face hit the pillow.

I ignored every part of my life. Friends started calling me and texting me to see if I was even alive, but then after awhile there were no longer any unread texts or missed calls. It was all gone. My nightmares were becoming my reality. There were still bills to pay however so I had to work. My daily routine consistent of waking up working and then get home and the day was over.

After I could no longer see Ethan in my dreams I couldn't think of sleeping. I printed a picture of him and put it on my nightstand. I stared at him trying to memorize him, his eyes and his grinning smile. How could I ever forget. How dare I. How could I ever let go.
I felt safer thinking he was still there. Looking at me though the photograph. Locking eyes with each other. I only cried once when I felt that I had completely lost him. But staring into his earthy brown eyes that reminded me of a hot summer day surrounded by tall trees rooted deeply in the earth beneath my feet or the light autumn breeze kissing my skin and gently swaying the brown crisp leaves in circles around me gave me renewed hope that I would one day see him again. I would see them at the bottom of the lake. They're waiting for me. I should get going.