My Beginning & The End: Where The Road Led [REWRITTEN]

To hell and further back

12.

I'm confined in your aviary.
Each time I fly away,

I hit the glass cage and fall away.
You watch me carefully
to see if I learned from my mistake,
but I never stop even when I burn in pain.

He carried me to the car and said he had a place in mind. Nothing good could come of it, I thought. But there was nothing to dread anymore. The best was over, and the worst was already here. Things could only hopefully soon end. The sooner it's all done, the quicker I can feel at peace, for once in my existence.

He told me I could trust him, but he couldn't even trust himself. How was I supposed to put my faith into a man who had done such horrid things. He wasn't even fazed by my repulsive reaction that I tried my best to hide. He started driving, and the whole ride was silent. I wanted to open the car door and jump out and run as fast as I could -but I couldn't even walk. If only I could fly, then I'd be floating in the sky with nothing on my mind.

The sun started to set. He told me we were getting close. I sighed in relief. I was finally getting some air. We had been driving for around an estimated 3 hours when we pulled up to... nothing? He told me I should know the place and that I would soon remember. All there was to see was an empty plot of land surrounded by a dense forest. I pretended to have a sudden realization and acted how I had remembered everything. He looked at me and laughed and understood I had no idea what he was talking about or where he was going with this empty land. "Look further, and you might see the reminiscences of the house." He claimed. I doubted that there was anything to see as the sun had almost completely set, and the last bit of light shone dimly. I went further to the big empty patch of grass and looked around. I could see there had been a foundation of a house that still remained there. I noticed that there were stepping stones that led to what I presumed to be the previous garden before it all burned down.

- - -

He confronted me about my relationship with the "the butler boy" as he called him. He shouted, saying what a disgrace I was. I was no daughter of his he said. "You are a burden to this family. You are nothing to anyone. You think he's going to give you a fairytale ending. -Wake up, Evelyn!" -"I forbid you of ever leaving this house until you are wed to the suitor I arrange for you." He said while he poured himself another glass. He drank it, swallowed it whole, and sat on the living room couch. "You're a disappointment to us all. You make me look like the fool and after everything I have done for you." He said in a low tone. He didn't look at me. He couldn't face the disappointment. I had had enough. I was through with his anger and suffocating words. I dreamt of marrying for love, not pity in myself, for letting my father down whom I did not love. I despised him.
I stood up and spoke up for myself in rebellion. I could see the flame sparked in his eyes. I was only adding more fuel to it. He threw his glass down, shattering it. I stood my ground even when I felt like trumbling down like a domino stacked in next in line to fall. I knew what he was capable of, but I couldn't take it anymore. He came over to me and slapped me. He shouted a few more words of hatred torwards me before he did it again and I dropped to the ground crying, not because of the pain or his harsh words and judgment towards his own flesh and blood, but because I knew I wasn't getting out. I just riled up the monster that haunted the home that I could no longer get out of.

- - -

The harsh memory of my father hit me like a pound of bricks that were set aflame while simultaneously combusting. I couldn't go any further to look closer at the field and what other memories were awaiting my demise. I couldn't believe the words he used against me. It wasn't like him. It wasn't him at all.

Damien was there beside me and caught me before I hit the ground. The memory was agonizing. It didn't flash by. It felt like I was reliving it all over again in the moment passing by. I didn't want to remember the life I had lived before. I wanted to let go of it and let Damien go down with it, too. Only he was stuck onto me like an insect I couldn't find, but I could feel it crawling on my skin and sink its teeth deep into my flesh and making it bleed, leaving a marking scar. If I couldn't handle the past, then why would I want to repeat it again now.