My Beginning & The End: Where The Road Led [REWRITTEN]

Mirage of living

4.

Without a thought or feeling,
I lingered on by a thread holding me onto you.
Entwined in your fantasy, a world of no good only living regret.
Tied together for an eternity.

Wensday, 10 June

I love you.
04:19

I stared at the last message he had ever sent. His final words to the world before he went into a coma. I love you, yet I didn't believe it were his words. He couldn't leave any witnesses. That was his final message before he collapsed, and I believed him. It couldn't have been a nightmare. There was a killer, and the killer was close. He was beside me and behind me, and then he was right in front of my eyes. This killer couldn't be human, not unless it was my mind.

Odd occurances kept happening. There was something wandering around me. I couldn't distinguish who it was or even what it was, only that it had pale blue eyes. They shone like crystals in the dark, glowing even. Each night I closed my eyes, I could feel its presence linger in the air. When I opened my eyes, I would see those eyes hover in the dark atmosphere staring back at mine. It wasn't threatening, to me at least. I didn't mind for a while.

- - -

Ethan was buried a day before my birthday. Many showed up to his funeral. His friends, his father, sister and brother, and then there was me. I sat at the front and his family sitting all beside me. I felt guilty for being there. For being alive. I could only imagine their faces with disgust, knowing I was sitting there and not lying in the ground instead of him. I could have saved him. I could have been the one to go if I only answered the damn phone.

After the ceremony was over, I lingered on staring down into the ground as his coffin was lowered down. I said my final goodbye. I placed a rose down just before he was completely covered by the dirt being shoveled onto him.

Walking out of the graveyard felt like a journey to hell. The closer I got to the entrance, the more I could feel the warmth of the flames in the inferno awaiting me.
I halted as I reached the gates. I heard footsteps come closer and closer behind me. I spun back and looked around. A stranger emerged from the trees. A tall, dark-haired gentleman wearing a suit and a coat. I glanced back to the gates and wanted nothing more than to be on my way and ignore his strange appearance and his arrival from out of nowhere. "I apologize for bothering you, but would you so kindly tell me where you are." He asked just as I took a step away. I looked at him back and noticed his familiar gaze.
His voice. His presence. I knew him from somewhere. The ghost that followed wherever I went. "Who are you?" I asked, holding back my tears because I felt I already knew exactly who he was even with no evidence to back me up. "You know who I am, Evelyn." He anwesered back as if I had known him for a lifetime already. "I do." I said, whispering under my breath.

I woke up from the nightmare crying. The nightmare seemed too real. I realized as I looked at my surroundings that I was tucked under a blanket in the living room on the couch. I couldn't recall how I got there. The stranger who claimed I knew him.
I knew who he was. A killer, psychotic man killing innocent souls. A ghost haunting me wherever I went, watching me sleep and following my every step. I knew exactly who he was. His slicked back raven hair and painted on smile. He was an illusion of a man, and I had to convince the world he was real, but mostly just myself. There was still a chance that Ethan would wake up and identify who it was and if I was right. And then again, it might have been a bear as he last told me. Maybe I'm just making things up to fill the void.