If you die, i die with you - Fyolai story

「 XIII - Ropes 」

  These white and yellow, ragged and cold walls of weirdly small hospital. Nothing on them, to fill up that loneliness. Even the walls were lonely here, such a ironic thing to say. Only a single old cross above doors. This thing most probably can remember the first ever patient here, which was really long ago. Cold and loud beds, whenever you moved a little, the bed would yell at you with a loud creaking. Another ragged thing in this place - blinds. People here were amazed that they are still holding on windows. Some of them has fallen already...

Fyodor opened his eyes slightly, but closing them not even after a second. It was so bright. Weird, the clock next to his bed was showing 5 am. For winter metting it's finish, it should be dark. The lights were turn on for some reason. Wasn't it still time for patients to rest? He looked around and saw a nurse. She was writing something in her small notebook. Then she would come closer and put something into his drip (idk if this is how to write the thingy you have in your arm when ur at hospital, the translator shows me this :'3 ). It may be some kind of painkillers. His head hurts so bad.

Why was he here again...?

He wanted to go home... To his cat and his friend.

Why wouldn't they let him go already?

It was tiring.

Couldn't they see that?

The nurse left his room and turned the lights off. He sighed and tried to find his phone, but it was nowhere to be found. He groaned slightly closing his tired eyes.

The headache was getting weaker. The paint stopped completely in few minutes. How much did she put that medicine in his drip? Boy felt like too much... It was unusual not to feel that much pain. Since a year, his head was hurting like it was about to explode. Then he would get painkillers, but then he also got addicted to medicine... And had to stop taking them for some reason, unknown for him. His doctor said that it's not helping, only making his case worse. He didn't know. He felt like that doctor didn't knew either. He didn't knew and still doesn't know a thing.

Then why does he still visits him?

Maybe because there's no other that would, at least, try taking care of... his head.

It was almost a year since the diagnosis. A brain tumor. What an irony for him.

He wasn't fond of living anyways, but... When some centrain person entered his life, he felt like trying to live again...

But he doesn't have time.

How to tell someone you might've fallen for, that you won't make it to next year- year? Half a year? Less than 6 months? Month? Week? Day? He didn't knew. Why didn't he knew something so important like this!?

He never cared.

He never bothered himself to think about that. But when Nikolai came into his meaningless life... He felt almost alive. He had so mucb energy, that it radiated onto Fyodor. And when he didn't knew where to go, when he came to reven haired boy... when he actually started almost living with him, he didn't want his sister to leave his apartment. He wanted to stay with him as close as possible. He hated himself for that. How can he feel something like that on deathbed?

Nikolai is running ahead, but Fyodor is tied with ropes that were forming all his life, just to stop him and never let go.

He wants to go.

He wants to run after him.

Why can't he?

The ropes are getting stronger and stronger.

One rope will cut off his air in days. It has tightened around his neck, yet he never cared to try and cut it off. But with what? There was nothing to use as scissors or knife. But his arms were also tied back, so he won't be able to hold the rope that's suffocating him everyday. He'll eventually die without air. But who would care? Maybe Nikolai? Probably not. His cat won't even know, how could a cat know that their owner died? Nobody's gonna tell it.

  He still has time, doesn't he? Maybe only a little while, but it's still something! Maybe he'll be able to actually love somebody... by somebody he meant Nikolai... But he won't love him back. Even if he will... or does... how is he going to tell him that he's dying? But he has to know. What will he do if Fyodor will just randomly disappear without any trace?

The boy thought about all this.

He eventually has fallen asleep.

But... why was he in hospital?

Is this thing in his brain getting bigger so he can't remember properly? Will he forget his dear friend too? He doesn't want too...

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Well well well

Im back from dead :33

Its only 820 words but its still good after such a break...

Ill try to write more like dialogue ig

Luv whoever reads this shit muah <3333!!1!!1!1!