DEMA

We Don't Believe What's On TV

1st of May, 3001
We don't believe what's on TV.
Because it's what we want to see.
And what we want, we know we can't believe.
We have all learned to kill our dreams.

Jenna ran her hands over my body, I had never had sex before, and I could feel my heart pounding heavy in my chest, she was so beautiful.
Everything over the past few days had been leading up to this moment, and I wanted it more then anything, but a part of me was full of self doubt.
I wasn't good enough for her.
She deserves better.
She quelled my thoughts as she pushed me down into the sheets of her bed, I surrenderd myself to her in a way, knowing she desired nothing more than to touch me.
We slowly melted into eachother, merging into the same being, our bodies pressed against eachother, her dark skin against my pale, we fit together like two peices of the same puzzle.
Each thrust was like it's own peice of heaven, we held eachother close and breathed eachothers air, and for that night, nothing else in the world mattered, just myself and Jenna, and our plesure.
I had never felt closer to her, and we slept for the rest of the night in eachothers arms, our naked bodies intertwined like crawling ivy.
We were woken by the morning light streaming in the window of Jenna's apartment.
"if you had told me a few months ago that I was going to sleep with THE Clancy, I wouldn't have belive you."
"When did you decide I was boyfriend material?"
Jenna laughed, "I don't know... Your wanted poster was kinda hot."
I luaghed too, and Jenna leaned over to give me a sleepy morning kiss.
"You're even hotter in real life" she smiled.
"I wish we could stay like this forever, just the two of us... Enjoying eachothers company in peace forever."
"You know it can't be that way Clancy, we'll never truly be free until we can leave Dema."
And so I spent the next thirty minutes crying in her arms, I don't think she quite knew what I was crying about.
I kept the truama from my gruesome murders of the Banditos to myself.
When I stopped crying, Jenna started kissing me again.
"We could do this every day for the rest of our lives if we wanted" she said.
"I'd be alright with that" I replied, holding her close, "I just wanna spend all day with you."
And so we spent the rest of the morning, rolling around and kissing and luaghing and just enjoying the fact that we were alive at the same time.

17th of May, 3001
I need to know.
That when I fail you'll still be here.
'Cause if you stick around, I'll sing you pretty sounds.
And we'll make money selling your hair.
I don't care what's in your hair.
I just wanna know what's on your mind.
I used to say, "I wanna die before I'm old."
But because of you, I might think twice.

Today I turned twenty.
To think... I've been on this planet for twenty years.
On this day, twenty years ago, my mother welcomed me into the world.
To Think... I had a mother and a father... At one point in my life.
I hate my birthday, to me, it a stark reminder of the fact that I don't know where I came from, that I just appeared from thin air as a teenager.
Jenna and the other members of FPE had a small celebration for me, and I enjoyed myself, but this day still has a looming shadow over it that I will never be able to shake.
We do have our radio show prepared though, which I'm really excited for.
I can't wait to broadcast our truths to Dema, if our group expands, we have a chance of escaping, and that... It's my ultimate goal.

24th of May, 3001
What if my dream does not happen?
Would I just change what I've told my friends?
I don't wanna know who I would be.
When I wake up from a dreamer's sleep.

Ned had managed to get his hands on all the equipment needed for radio broadcasting, not that I understood a hint of it, and Juniper and Rozi had outlined a plan on what our format and design choices would be, while myself and Jenna worked on the actual content.
We called ourselves "Good Day Dema" and we went out at late times of night, anywhere between eleven PM and Three AM.
We remained completely anonymous, and distorted our voices,
The first words of the show were spoken by me.
"Attention, citizens of Dema.
Welcome to 'Good Day Dema'
We have come to send you a messge.
We are FPE.
we denounce violism.
Dema does not control us.
You must rise up and run straight trough all of your tormentours.
There IS hope, and it starts with revolution."

I need to know.
That when I fail you'll still be here.
'Cause if you stick around, I'll write you pretty words.
And we'll make money selling your hair.
don't care what's in your hair
I just wanna know what's on your mind.
I used to say, "I wanna die before I'm old"
But because of you, I might think twice.