DEMA

Choker

August 1st, 3001
I don't bother anyone.
Nervous when I stand.
Choking on the circumstance.
Only smoking second hand.
Cut us open, spread us out.
Dry us in the sand.
Lay the fibers side by side.
And you'll begin to understand.
I know it's over.
I was born a Choker.
Nobody's coming for me.

I woke before Jenna, somthing had stirred me from my sleep.
I gently crept out of bed and quietly dressed myself.
I made my way down the steps of our apartment building and let myself out into the fresh air.
My anxiety levels were spiking and I needed a smoke.
I lit my cigarette and blew puffs of smoke into the breeze.
It was six in the morning, but already warm and bright.
I looked to the sky, and an absolutely huge vulture landed on the bicycle parking rack beside me.
It tilted its head and looked at me with its beedy little yellow eyes.
I shuddered, memory's flooding back.
I saw the vulture had a note of some kind tied to its left talon, so I slowly lowered myself down and managed to untie it before it could protest.
The bird let out a mighty squak and flew to the top of the roof, where a vulture had perched for many months when I had first arrived here.
I wondered was it the same bird.
I unfolded the peice of paper, and found that I was holding a letter.
My heart began to race and my legs began to tremble when I began to read it.

Hello C,,,,,
I hope this letter finds you well.
I arrived in Dema yesterday, under the light of the full moon.
I am still too afraid to come out of hiding, but I wanted to send you this messge to alert you that I am here, in Dema.
If you're reading this than I can assume Jason the vulture managed to find you.
I don't know how long I'm going to be able to stick this place for, it's so incredibly overwhelming.
All I know is that I'm not leaving without you.
I've observed some of the citizens here, and it has made my heart weep.
They remind me of Zombies.
Please send a message of where you want to meet back with the vulture, and I'll meet you at that spot tomorrow morning at five.
I have so much to tell you.
J,,,

I stood in pure disbelief at the piece of paper in my hands.
I refused to believe this was actually Josh, not until I saw him with my own eyes.
What if it really was Josh?
What if he was still alive?
I didn't know how to feel, but despite my unclear head I managed to run up the stairs as fast as I could and scribble down my address.
I called the vulture down, and tied it to his leg.
He flew in the direction of the bishops towers, and my heart raced even faster.
I woke Jenna, and told her about the letter.
I had never told her about how close Josh and I really were, or about how I was the one that threw him from the cliffs edge.
Those are things she must never know.
"There is an incredibly high possibility that this could be a trap" she told me, reading the letter over again, "You knew the guy, does this sound like him?"
I read the letter again and nodded, "I can't rembember his hand writing but this sounds like the kind of letter her would write."
I knew Jenna was never quick to trust anything or anyone, so I didn't let her freak me out too much.
"I think you should go, because if this is real... It could be the breakthrough we are in need of" she said, "but myself, Ned, Juniper, and Rozi are going with you... Just in case."
"Sounds good to me" I replied, a little bewildered.
I could be seeing Josh tommorow.
I think that's going to bring up a lot of feelings that I've kept very deep down for a very long time.

August 2nd, 3001
I don't bother anyone.
Never make demands.
Choking on the circumstance.
Self-sabotage is a sweet romance.
Seems like all I'm worth is what.
I'm able to withstand.
Sooner I can realize that.
Pain is just a middleman.
I know it's over.
I was born a Choker.
Nobody's coming for me.
I see no volunteers.
To co-sign on my fears.
I'll sign on the line.
Alone, I'm gonna change my circumstance.
I know I need to move right now 'cause.
I know it's over.
I was born a Choker.
Nobody's coming for me.
Only smoking second hand.
I know it's over.
I was born a Choker.
Nobody's coming for me.

Jenna and the others stayed hidden on the other side of the building, ready to run out and rescue me the moment I sent the signal.
I waited for half an hour, and the sun began to slowly peak it's way over the city walls and shine light over the street.
I was about to turn around and give up, when he appeared, bathed in the newborn light of the August sunrise.
It was him alright, it was Joshua Dun, very much alive.
I ran to him, too many emotions inside of me all merging together to be able to identify a singular one.
We embraced, and he pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me and squeezing.
I hugged him back, I never thought I would get a Josh hug ever again.
The months between us melted in our arms, and it was as if we had never been apart.
I refused to let go of him for at least a minute and a half, partly because I never wanted this embrace to end, and partly because I didn't think I could bear to look him in the eyes.
He pulled away from me and finally spoke, and we made that eye contact I had long been dreading.
I looked into the deep brown eyes I used to know so well, the same eyes I had looked into when he and the others had first rescued me from Nico, the same eyes I had looked into when I threw him over the edge of the waterfall.
"I've missed you... So much..." is what he said.
"I've missed you too" I replied, holding back tears.
He smiled, "you've changed... A lot" he exclaimed, touching my now shoulder length hair.
"You haven't" I told him, looking at his face, the curve of his nose, fall of his mouth, patches where he never rembembered to shave, it was all the exact same as it had been eight months ago.
"I never do" he replied, smiling.
His smile broke me, and I burst into tears.
I cried into his chest, I sobbed like a baby for what seemed like forever, and he just held me gently, covering me in his warmth.
"I'm so sorry Josh" I cried, guilt taking over, "I'm so so sorry."
"It's not your fault" he replied, and I could feel a sadness come over him.
I killed his entire family, and here he was letting me cry into his chest as he told me it wasn't my fault.
I didn't have the emotional energy left to explain to him that it was in fact entirely my fault, so I let him comfert me all be wanted.
"I love you" he said finally.
"I love you too" I replied without even thinking.
I didn't think about it because I knew it was true.
I loved Josh more then I loved anyone else in the world.
We had a special connection, trough those dreams we shared.
Without Josh I would never have escaped Dema, or met the Banditos, none of this would have ever happened and I would still just be an ordinary citizen.
I think the universe meant for us to find eachother.
"I have so much to tell you" said Josh.
"I have so much to tell you too" I replied, "and so many people for you to meet... Just follow me!"
Josh seemed suprised at my positivity, and I wondered had he expected to find me locked up in a jail cell somewhere, wallowing and crying and suffering.
I led him down the street and behind the apartment building, where my freinds were hiding.
I called to them, and they appeared.
"Josh... This is Edward, Juniper, Rozaline, and my girlfriend, Jenna...everyone, this is my best freind Josh."
Joshes face fell at the word "Girlfriend" and Jenna gave him an intense glare.
She had once accused me of having an ex lover called Josh, that she had heared me calling his name in the night.
That's when I told her about Josh being my best freind when I lived with the Banditos.
I didn't tell her anything about BlurryFace, about how I was the one who did the killing, or about how close I was with Josh.
As their eyes met, I worried that it would all come out, and Jenna would reject me.
I pushed the thought away, willing everything to turn out how I wanted it.
Just then, the bell that ends curfew rang out, signalling the day to begin, and Nicos morning prayer played out over the speakers that littered the town.

We are citizens.
We are Violists.
Violism is the only way to paradise.
I will come, when the bishops call me.
The bishops speak the truth.
We are citizens.
We are Dema.
We will repent our sins and sacrifice ourselves in the name of violism.
Only after death.
In paradise we will rest.

"What was that?" Josh asked, puzzled.
"It means curfew is over" replied Rozi.
"You have a curfew?" Josh asked, still puzzled.
"Most of the city do, but we ignore it... Because Dema doesn't control us" I told him, looking at him fondly.
Josh smiled, and for a minute, all was right with the world.

Like a little splinter buried in your skin.
Someone else can carve it out, but when you've got the pin.
It hurts a little less and you can even push it further in.
When your body's screaming out, trust your mind's listening.
Like a silhouette that you can barely see.
As a shadow cast upon the ground, where you'll eventually.
Lay forever, but the day goes on, the sun moves behind you.
You get taller, bolder, stronger and the rearview only blinds you.