MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

THE JOURNEY OF ZAMA DLALA

CHAPTER EIGHT

A person may be arrested either on the strength of a warrant of arrest or when a police officer witnesses a person committing an offence or has probable cause to believe that a person was involved in the commission of a crime. This time it's different. I am standing outside with my nerves booming high. No one knows that I am here except for my Zama. I told my father but looks like he didn’t take me seriously. And  he hasn't even tried calling me to stop me or anything. Not that I expected anything from him. Mthokozisi will always be wrong in his eyes. It's the stupid mistakes that keep repeating. I've decided on taking this decision and I hope that it helps everyone at this point. Most importantly it eases me and my consciousness.

I left every gadget in the car and step in. Everything looks foreign to me. I was once held in the police stations for the rape crime. I thought I will be arrested for Njabulo's case since his family was so sure that I had a hand of which I did. No charges where laid. And then there’s Zama. Zama is a strong case. She will dust herself and move on. I will never hold anything against her. It will be her choosing her happiness and I can’t deprive her from it. She made me feel a pinch lover I've never experienced before. I am not ashamed to say that I love her and will always do. She's the first and the last woman who will ever occupy my heart. Hope she understands and forgives me. I sent her a text message. Hope she reads it with understanding.
I am standing at the front desk shivering. This is a good step, that I know.
"Sir. Can I help you?" The cop asks. I feel my eyes getting watery. This is now harder than I thought.
"Sir, are you okay?" She asks. I shake my head while I bring my hand forth.
"I'm here to confess."
She doesn't say anything.
"Please follow me." I follow as instructed. We are what looks like an interrogation room. She offers me a chair to sit and I do.
"You can tell me what happened. But first…" She pulls out for what looks like a tape recorder.
"It is important to clearly state your presence and confirm that the recording has started. This is typically done to create a clear record of the interview for legal purposes." She tells me. I nod my head in understanding.
"What's your full name?" She asks.
"Mthokozisi Mbhele." I say rubbing my palms underneath table.
She presses on record...
"This is Officer Madison and I am present with Mthokozisi Mbhele in relation to the rape, and murder."
She shakes her head giving me the go. I close my eyes and picture each and every event of exactly how it happened. I feel like a heavy presence has been pulled off me. I feel lighter. The recording has stopped. She smiles more like giving me a sympathetic smile.
"Turning yourself in is a great first step in changing your life. It will go a long way towards convincing the prosecutor that you are remorseful for your behaviour and that you’re determined to learn from your mistakes. Change your thoughts, then change your behaviour. See yourself as a law-abiding, contributing member of society." I chuck. I doubt that I am. I am being taken to my cell and luckily I'm all alone. This will give me the time to re-think about my future if it happens that I get a lighter sentence.
I slid down on the floor and bury my face on my hands. Wish I could scream and let out whatever fear that I have.
I scan my eyes around and I wish there was a watch on the wall to track time. But when last I checked it was roughly quarter to nine. It’s late. I’m sure Zama is sleeping by now. I feel sleepy. They are kind enough to have blankets through. I lay down and cover myself. There is no bed so, yea!

I wake up at eleven pm, thanks to all the hooting and hollering outside my cell. I take a few minutes to centre myself.
A plate of food was pushed through the steel gate. I wale up and grab the plate and eat. It's just peanut butter and tea. It's counts for something. At least I will not sleep in an empty stomach. I need all the strength.

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"Your son is out committing crimes." His father says. He is flipping through the channels without care. His mother is busy pacing up and down in fear. She can sense and feel it. Her son didn't do nothing this time around. She feels like something has happened to him. Her insides shrink in coldness of that thought. She doesn't think too much because of this. She sits down but the pressure is too much. She stands up and begins pacing up an down again. She tries calling him again, no pick up. It rings then takes her to voicemail.
"Not my son." She says in a shaky voice. His father chucks in annoyance. He is getting bored. He stands up and walks out for some fresh air. He looks outside her son's house. It's dark and the car is not in. Now he is the one in panic mode. He reaches for his phone from his pocket and gives him a call. Same response. It rings then takes him to voicemail. He tries again and the same thing happens. He tries recalling their conversation the had this morning. Njabulo was in the sentence. In that mist he also mentioned an apology and handing himself in. Which sounds absurd.
"Jesu!" He shouts. His head is spinning. Could it be that his only son has handed himself over to the police? His feels his chest tighten. Surely he is somewhere seeking for attention from his parents. Okay! He cannot be ranking his head this much. He is too old for this. But the possibilities. He rushes back to the house.
"Did he mention anything to you this morning?" The husband asks his wife who is now seated on the edge of the couch.
"No. He didn't say anything." She says with a heavy sigh following. Fresh tears. He doesn't like seeing his wife crying this much. As much as they fight now and again lately, but he doesn't like seeing her looking like this.
"Come here Mkami." He opens his arms wide to embrace his wife. She stands up and falls on to her husband's chest.
"I just want my son." She sobs. He holds her tight and clench his jaws.
"We will find him. Maybe he is spending some time with his girlfriend. I heard he has one. Let's wait for morning and see if he doesn't return." He suggest.
"What if he doesn't return?" It's the fear that asking.
"Let's think positively."
"Okay." He pulls her towards the bedroom.