MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

THE JOURNEY OF ZAMA DLALA

CHAPTER SIXTEEN  

I am sleeping peacefully when the blankets are being yanked off me. I dazed my eyes lazily and gasped out of cold entering my body. It’s cold for crying out loud.  
“Yey! Wake up!” That is MaNtanzi. I know her voice even in my sleep. I sit up straight and rub my eyes. I regain my sight and look at her opening and closing my wardrobe. What is she looking for. She might be sleepwalking. But she is wide awake.
“What’s going on?” I ask. I have never seen MaNtanzi this mad. I look at my mother leaning against the wall with one hand balancing on the crutch. She looks defeated. I wonder where my father is. He must have a better explanation to do.  
“Really Zama.? Umithela osikhotheni!” She continues to shout. Her saliva is springing out of her mouth, flying across the room. I hate saliva. I look at my mother once more. She told her. I am so disappointed in her. She couldn't wait to tell her friend. Now my father will know, and Gods knows what will happen. Maybe she has already told him. I feel my last breath leaving my body.  
“Mah...” I whisper. She sighs and drags herself towards my bed. She has difficulties in walking. But it's better to be stuck in that wheelchair. She sits on the bed and holds both my hands. I am afraid of what he's hoping to tell me. Is she chasing me out of her house. I feel my tears threatening to fall out.
“Mah please. I am sorry. Don't chase me out. I will do better in school I promise.” I cannot imagine my life with this woman.
“What? No. Don't be stupid. I would never do such a thing. Even if you fall pregnant at such a young age.”
“The where are you taking me?” I am taking me to the rural areas, a decision that they both made, then I am not going anywhere. My father wouldn't allow that.  
“I had to ask MaNtanzi to accompany you to the boy's house. I wouldn't have told half of the story, so I had to share each detail so that she knows what she is dealing with. And besides, this needed to be done sooner or later before your father notices.”  
“Can't I go with you?” I ask. I want her next to me.  
“I can't walk my child and I can't ask your father to take us there. As much as I would have loved to be there but...”
“I understand.” I say. No, I do not understand. I am just saying this just to let this past. But deep down I am hurting. I hoped she would be there every step of the way. But there are situations where she cannot avail herself. And I blame whatever made her sick.
“Get dressed. We must arrive there before the sun comes out.” MaNtanzi.  
I sigh getting off the bed. How will I walk such a long distance with so much pain on my feet?
“Can't er request?” I shouldn't have asked. If looks could killed. I would have been killed by MaNtanzi’s looks.  I get dressed in the women watch me like I will run away from them.

It’s four thirty in the morning. Is it normal to be more sensitive to cold temperatures? I look at MaNtanzi walking beside me with her hands on her waist and her jacket wrapped around it. I might just have a natural tendency to be colder than others. I take a deep breath and continue with the way. Mthokozisi’s house is not that far. Just that walking is a mission to me. Through the darkness I see a white figure from a distance. I swallow hard and grab MaNtanzi by hand. I immediately shivered.  
“Awu yini!” This woman is always ready for civil war.  
“I think I am seeing a ghost.” I say. She chucks and yanks her hand off me. She digs for whatever in her pocket and comes out of a packet. She fiddles with it.  
“Here, put this under your tongue. It’s rough salt. Whatever you see will not be there when you look again.”  Haibo! I take it either way. She knows better than I do. I slip it underneath my tongue and the taste is bitter. I feel the saliva foaming in my mouth. I feel like throwing up. I spit it out including the salt. I will never trust MaNtanzi ever again with my life!  
“Wasting my husband's hard-earned money. Are we not there yet?” She asks. I keep scanning my eyes around just to be sure we are not being followed. And indeed, the white figure is no longer in sight.  
“Two houses down the road.” I respond. She takes a long, huge deep dramatic breath. I roll my eyes. I am sure my mother would have done the same. At least this human mother being is a bit strong, unlike my lazy mother. The gate is locked, and I do not have a phone with me. Who am I kidding? I do not have anyone's numbers. My phone was stolen. MaNtanzi bangs on the gate. It’s almost half past five. I can't believe we walked that long. She bangs on the gate once more.
“Knock, knock!” I swear she will choke on her own voice if he screams this loud again. I am not wasting my voice waking my elderly people. She is the one who volunteered to bring me here. She must suffer the consequences. The light turns on in one of the bedrooms. I assume it’s Mthoko’s parents' bedroom. The garage door opens. His father walks out wearing a gown. My eyes are fixed on the outside building and that ugly car. I find myself smiling. I miss him, no lies. My shoulders slumber in disappointment. I wish he was here.  But nonetheless, his parents are here.  
“Who is there?” He asks.  
“Is the Mbhele homestead?” She asks. She didn't have to ask. I told her. I look at her and I can see she is here to breathe fire. This woman is here to embarrass us, me to be precise. I see Mthoko’s mother following her husband. Now the entire house is on. Mthoko’s father comes close to the gate. His eyes land on me and he briefly smiles. I smile back and look at the ground. I can't be looking at my father-in-law straight in the eyes. It’s disrespectful. Without asking any further questions he opens the gate.  
“You may come in.” MaNtanzi clicks her tongue and enters the yard like she owns the house. I truly wish my own mother would have came. That woman is humble and stays away from something embarrassing. Mthoko’s mother leads us to the house. She lays the mat on the floor, and I am being instructed to sit on it. The house looks clean, and the smell of coffee smells in the air.  
“I hope all is well.” His father breaking the ice.  
MaNtanzi takes a deep breath. I know she is about to be dramatic now. So, I chirp in.  
“All is well baba.”
MaNtanzi lightly smack my lips signaling for me to shut up.  
“Do not interrupt the adults when they are talking. Kwimanje usitukile!”
She takes another breath.  
“I am here to report the pregnancy. This child has decided to shame our family in the mud. She is only good grade eleven. When will she finish school? Next year she will have to be a stay-at-home mum and take care of her child. My sister – her mother is not physically well. She can't be stressed over a teenage girl running after boys and making wrong decisions. I...”  
Bab’Mbhele cuts her short. I am glad. She was going to talk until Jesus comes back.
“Our son has mentioned the issue at hand. He has given us a go ahead with all the responsibilities. As the Mbhele family we will be very happy to take full responsibility. We would also like to know what is needed.”  
MaNtanzi clears her throat. “We will have a word with the family, and we will get back to you. For that fact that she will have to be home next year raising the child is not good to us. Making matters worse, the father is not present. He is in jail. Zama is still yet to find her husband of her own and...”  
“Haaa mama. I am not getting married to anyone else other than Mthoko.” I just had to. The room became quiet. I know I have defeated her. She is faking tears.
“Not only you have shamed the family, but you are you willing to throw your life away for the man who is behind bars Zama Dlala. Why are you doing this to us? To your mother?”  
“I will raise the child while the mother goes back to school.” I thank Mthoko’s mother for being a life saver. I never really thought what will become of me next year. Now that I think about it, fear is creeping in.